Simply Family V

PANDAS (Pediatric Autoimmune Neuropsychiatric Disorder Associated with Streptococcal Infections)

2010-02-06T17:05:00.000-07:00

The last several years I have been a mother worried sick about her Mr. Man and his "mental illness". Now I am a mother with a huge amount of hope. Why? Let me explain.

When my son hit about 3-4 he became a "cautious" child. He was happy and he wasn't generally difficult but he had some quirks. He hated loud noises most of all. Things he had been around before began to really upset him, like fireworks and flushing the toilet. My husband is a bit sound sensitive so we just figured that was the reason.

By Kindergarten he wasn't happy anymore, he was just plain angry. After a horrid Christmas season that left me in tears much of the time I made an appointment with his pediatrician. His teacher had suggested, OK insisted, that I have him tested for ADHD. Because this runs in the family, I did. Our wonderful doctor knew right away that it wasn't ADHD, it was anxiety. And or course, once I heard that, I knew he was right. We met with a therapist once and she didn't feel like he needed ongoing therapy. Putting a label on it helped me deal with it.

First grade was better. He had a teacher he liked a lot better (and who liked him a whole lot better as well). He got strep a few times (what kid doesn't). I asked about his tonsils because they looked big to me but his doctor said he didn't want to jump the gun. I felt like he was doing soooo much better. He was still "cautious" but he wasn't angry anymore. I chalked it up to a better school year. Christmas was still difficult. He was so worried he hadn't been good enough for Santa to come. I told him Santa knew his heart was good and that all little boys were naughty sometimes.

The summer after 1st grade he was going to Summer Camp. He started saying some things every once in a while that made me thing "OCD" but I didn't want to over react, so I just figured it went with the anxiety. He started second grade and the first few weeks were really hard. He was angry again. He had a great teacher who was very strict, but also very consistent and he liked that, even though he was in trouble quite a bit. She felt he had a "chip on his shoulder". I knew his anxiety was getting worse. I kept trying to explain to her through out the year about his anxiety issues. She just thought he needed more discipline.

By late autumn I started to notice a few more quirks that had me worried. He began putting his garbage can outside of his room every day. He would tell me he just couldn't play with it in his room. One day he began shaking his head while he was watching TV. I asked him what he was doing. He said that he had to shake his head whenever he could see a garbage can to make sure that "the color would stay in the world". I walked out of the room and began to sob. In December my mom had been watching him and told me that he had told her he felt like he had put his finger by his bum and then felt like he "had" to lick it. This obviously had her concerned. I mentioned my OCD fears and knew that I had to do something about it. Christmas was a little better because we made everyone stop the "you better be good or Santa won't come" bit. He was still getting strep quite often.

In February we started seeing a psychiatrist. She mentioned having his strep titers measured because of PANDAS. I looked it up, saw that the treatment was the same as for regular OCD and figured it didn't matter if it was caused by strep or not. She had him do some Exposure and Response therapy regarding the garbage and it seemed to do the trick. I also mentioned he constantly pushed his stomach in and out. She just wanted him to focus on that (mindfulness) when he realized he was doing it. By summer he had pretty much quit. He seemed to be doing so much better she suggested we wait until Fall to see her again if we needed to.

Summer was fairly uneventful for him. My other son was having some gastrointestinal issues and I was spending my energy there.

3rd grade started with him angry and mean again. I began to wonder if it was just how he felt about starting school, even though he always seemed excited to start school again. He promptly caught strep a few more times. His teacher was OK, but I was grateful he had her because she didn't give much work and her husband's children both had OCD, so she knew what we were up against and was pretty understanding. We started seeing a new therapist that we really liked, though I wasn't so confident he knew much about OCD. But things continued to go up and down. By October his doctor felt he needed his tonsils out. I agreed. I wondered if his HUGE tonsils were why he didn't sleep well at night. I couldn't believe he was still sleeping on our floor every night. I had hoped he would grow out of it. We made an appointment with an ENT. The day prior to his appt. he told me his throat felt weird. I just knew it was strep again so I took him out of school to be tested. Yep. Another round of amoxicillan.

The day after that we met with the ENT. I mentioned the strep. He looked in his ears and nose and said that he also had 2 ear infections and a sinus infection. He switched the antibiotic and said to schedule the tonsillectomy. His tonsils were horrid.

He had his operation the week prior to Thanksgiving so he wouldn't miss much school. He did really well. Much better than I had expected. I seriously had thought we'd have to sedate him to get him there. But he did great. After the operation he had another round of amoxicillan and seemed good to go. Our Christmas was wonderful. We couldn't figure out exactly why but figured it was because we had started making him go to bed earlier. He also began sleeping through the night.

School started up again and he was still alternating between good times and hard times. I figured that it just the way it was. We decided to start him on Zoloft. We couldn't quite tell if it was helping, but were hopeful. By Summer he was doing really well and we again decided not to continue therapy through the summer. I had asked his pediatrician about some odd behaviors that I thought seemed more like tics than OCD. He wondered if I should see a neurologist.

4th grade started and he was actually a bit a happier than usual. Until the second week and his OCD went nuts and his behaviors became obvious tics and were multiplying. And then his brother mentioned that he felt like he had a bubble in the back of his throat while we were at the grocery store one day. I decided to walk over to the Express Clinic in the store and have him tested for strep. I could tell the nurse thought I was nuts but it came back positive. I wondered if there was a correlation to the OCD and tics worsening. He placed in the low math and middle reading classes which really surprised me. He'd always been in the high classes. The teacher showed me his paper and remarked that his handwriting was awful. It had been awful since first grade. I had him tested for a learning disability but it came back in the normal range.

In October we met with the doctor again. I mentioned the increase in compulsions and tics. He said he'd treated little girl with PANDAS before. He took a throat culture and it came back negative. I figured that meant it wasn't. Somewhere in my mind I thought somehow they were related but I didn't know how. I also realized the Zoloft was making him fat and manic. I began to slowly taper him off and have noticed zero difference in the OCD or tics.

His tics and behaviors continued to seesaw. In late December 2010 I was at the library and I saw a book called Saving Sammy by Beth Maloney. Being about a boy with OCD, I checked it out. As I read his story things began to click.

PANDAS means that their bodies have produced antibodies to the strep infection like they should. But then something goes wrong and those antibodies begin attacking their basal ganglia, causing OCD, tics and ADHD. Because it is the antibodies causing the problem, the child can have a reaction to just being around someone else who is carrying the strep bacteria. The reaction causes their body to produce more antibodies and this produces worsening behaviors. As the reaction subsides, the behaviors generally let up, at least some. Sammy had an awful case and suffered a year before his mother started to piece together what was going on. A wonderful doctor, Dr. Nicolaides in New Jersey put him on long term antibiotics and he slowly got better over the course of several years.

After I devoured the book in one sitting, I started doing more and more research and realized that there are doctors and researchers who believe the antibiotics are the key. The NIMH still does not recommend antibiotic treatment for PANDAS, even though children are getting better when using them.

I immediately called our pediatrician. We went to see him last week and I presented my case. He agreed to give him a 10 day course of Augmentin. I am keeping a detailed journal of our days. I can only hope that it helps. I think I can see some improvements already. He had red dye #40 today, which ALWAYS leads to increased tics.   Today it doesn't seem to have affected him the usual way. Not everything is gone, but it seems better.

Wouldn't it be amazing if a lot of the pediatric onset cases of OCD and/or Tourettes ends up being a reaction to common strep that can be treated? I am so amazed that doctors actually figured this all out! I'm also amazed at the things that are out there that we just don't know about until it happens to our child. I wonder how many kids suffer with this who don't have parents that research like crazy how to heal them. It makes me sad to think about.

Do I know for sure Mr. Man has PANDAS? No. Do I think he does. I really do. He fits the profile and his case history seems to be pretty typical of PANDAS patients. As we move through this puzzle I am determined to get the word out. People need to know about this!

2010-01-25T17:08:00.000-07:00

All Your Worth by Elizabeth Warren and Amelia Warren Tyagi is my all time favorite financial book. Now if you know me at all, you know that I read a lot of non-fiction, mostly in the areas of finances, parenting, decorating, organizing and living your best life.

Why is this my favorite finance self-help book of all time, you ask? Well, I guess because it just plain makes sense. The authors have looked at the big picture, distilled it down to the root causes and come up with a one size fits all, easy to understand, easy to follow plan that will get you through your life from cradle to grave. How amazing is that!?!

The premise of the book is simple. Life requires balance. Get out of balance and things get funky. Work your way back to being and balance and life gets pretty easy and enjoyable. Balance is the case of money is having enough money for each of three categories: must-haves, savings and wants. Go heavy on one area and you automatically throw off the other areas. Stay in balance and financial success is pretty much a sure thing. The balance they suggest isn't arbitrary. It is based on research as well as common sense and they fully explain the reasoning behind it and the consequences of not following it. They don't tell you what is important, they leave that up to you. They don't have an ideology that you have to subscribe to. There is no guilt and no preaching. You get to decide what is important and what your own financial ideology is. You just need to keep it in balance.

First things first; Must-Haves. They recommend your Must-Have be at 50% if your take home pay. They are pretty specific on what constitutes a must-have. It's something that is necessary for basic human health, safety and dignity. It is something you would still spend your money on even if you lost your job. It includes things you are obligated by contract to pay as well. The list is fairly short and sweet: housing including basic utilities & homeowners or renters insurance, your transportation costs including gas, insurance and a payment, basic medical costs including insurance, life insurance, disability insurance and long term care insurance, a certain amount for basic food, and anything you have signed a contract to pay for, such as student loans, cell phones, a gym membership or furniture, as well as child support and alimony. Aren't clothes a need? Well, truly, most people could get by for quite some time with what they already have. At least 3-6 months. What about debt payments. Well we'll get to that in a minute.

What if you have more than 50% in must-haves, like Family currently does? Then it is time to start trimming. Not your wants. It might work for a little while, but eventually you burn out. You need to work at getting you Must-Haves to 50% or you really don't have much of a chance long term. Re-shop your insurance. Can you turn things you are renting back in?

In our case, our biggest Must-Have expense is what throws us out of balance; our house. We don't have car payments. Our cars are older so our insurance costs are quite low. We don't have anything purchased on time. We aren't renting anything. We have too much house. But we aren't moving. So we have to find someplace to trim. For now it is groceries. We have a lot of food storage built up so for the next few months we are going to try to keep grocery costs to a bare minimum. But that isn't a long term solution and I know it. So, if you can't or won't trim your Must-Haves much lower, you have to make more. Basically, I've got to get a job that at least covers the difference between what our Must-Haves are and what they should be. Since I've got both kiddos in school full-time, I think that is doable.

The second part of the equation is Savings. Savings should be at 20%. Inevitably the question always come up of whether one should build their emergency fund first or pay off existing debts first. There is a lot of debate in the financial community about this. The authors go the route of Dave Ramsey. Save $1000 for emergencies first. This should cover things like a broken washing machine or needing new tires. Then take any existing savings and your monthly 20% and throw it at your consumer debt until it is paid off. If you end up using your $1000, replenish it with your 20% and get going on the debt again. Most people if they get really serious, and quit amassing any new debt, will pay things off faster than they imagined possible. It takes a major commitment and focus on the end result though.

Once the debt is vanquished (love that word) the 20% should go to building up a larger emergency fund of 3-6 months Must-Have Expenses. More if you want or are self-employed. I think for Family V 9-12 months is a better goal. The real estate market is still pretty topsy-turvy. Better to be on the safe side.

After you have amassed your emergency fund it is time to diversify a bit. 10% to retirement, 5% to paying off a house if you have one and 5% towards your dreams, such as major vacations, kid's college funds, going back to school yourself, a Porche 911 Turbo, whatever floats your boat.

They do go into how to invest as well but I won't get into that here. Like the rest of the book, it is simple as logical.

The last 30% is for Wants. Wants are what make life worth living. Wants are what keep you putting your 20% toward your future. Wants are important and shouldn't be short-changed. But Wants can't be anymore than 30%. Wants are cable TV, DSL, clothes, music & karate lessons, electronics, jewelry, vacations, food over and above a basic necessity to live & stay healthy etc. They may be so important you are tempted to call them Must-Haves, but if you would ultimately cut them if things got really tight, it's a Want. Mr. Man's karate lessons are expensive and they are also very important to him and therefore to me. They keep him fit, increase his self-esteem and teach him great values. But if we had to, we could do without them for a while. That makes them a Want.

Some people are heavy on the Wants. Some people are heavy on the Must-Haves. Either way you are out of balance and need to do what it takes to get your finances back into alignment.

The most obvious thing about getting yourself back on track is to stop incurring ANY new debt. Otherwise you may as well just forget it. For me this is going to require going to using cash for our everyday expenditures. I find swiping a card, even a debit card to be too convenient. Usually I don't even know what the total was, I just swipe and go on my merry way. By counting out the money and watching my stash dwindle I am forced to really thing about spending wisely. They also recommend having some totally FREE money to quell arguments and give each person in the family some freedom. It doesn't have to be much but it does have to be no questions asked money that isn't accounted for in the budget. It goes without saying that it comes from your Wants category. For R and I, we've agreed on $20 a week for each of us. This is enough for lunch out or a pair of earrings but not so much that it will throw us off track.

If you are looking for common sense answers to how to handle your money, I highly recommend this book. It pretty much has it all. Like most couples, our biggest source of contention is money. We are optimistic that following this program will address all of our concerns, thus ending the money arguments. This will most certainly benefit the whole family and improve our marriage. Can't go wrong there, no?

Read it. Love it. Live it.

Marvelous Mr. Man

2010-01-22T09:09:00.000-07:00

Mr. Man. What can I say about this kid. He's handsome, brilliant, funny, anxious, enthusiastic, and can be sooooo hard to parent. Mr. Man only knows how to do things one way, full ON. Intense is a HUGE understatement. (By the way, he hated the school program in this picture more than anything because they had to be Mer-People and at 4 years old he had already decided that was waaaayyyy too girly for him.)

He reads like you can't believe. He finished all 7 Harry Potter books in less than a year. At school they can take AR tests, which test for comprehension and award the student points based on difficulty of the book and how they do on the test. Harry Potter 6 had something like 45 points, one of the hardest on the list, and he scored 44. Last year he won the award for most AR points. I was really proud of him.

He's super sensitive. He has a huge heart and is really compassionate toward animals. Here he is showing me a ladybug on the beach in Costa Rica. He worries about the health and safety of our pets maybe a little too much. He gets really upset during kids movies about animals during the obligatory part where the bad guy is being mean to the animal. R and I have to remind him-it's only

a movie!

Here he is 2 years later in Costa Rica holding some sort of sea creature he found on the beach. He has a lot of anxiety in some areas of his life, yet in others he's really adventurous and brave. You can see by the look on his face how excited, yet freaked out he his. Every time this kid tries something new, I am thrilled. But when he goes for something, he goes full force which can freak me out. It took him several years to work his way up through the roller coaster type rides at Lagoon, but this last year, not only did he ride Wicked, which I think is terrifying, but he jumped on Blast-Off and Re-entry without a second thought, which I refuse to do. He's a nut on his bike, 4 wheeler and snowboard. It's when he isn't in control that his anxiety starts to surface. But he works through it, and when he does I appreciate how strong his spirit is.

There's a moose behind him in this picture. Zoltar is totally unfazed, but Mr. Man is not sure what the hell his parents are doing! Which I think is his main sentiment regarding R and myself as his parents. He's one of those kids that is sure he knows at least as much as we do, and he may be right when it comes to the facts, but it is impossible to convince him that experience begets wisdom, and we might just have a little more of that than he does. He just thinks we are old which means our brains are already deteriorating so we couldn't possibly know better than he.

He's not much a team sports kid, but he does love individual pursuits, like snowboarding, surfing, and most notably, karate. He's at purple belt, plus he does the tournament team and when he turned 10 he began the leadership training program.

Here he is demonstrating the bo weapon form. It's so fun to watch. I've never seen him be so dedicated and work so hard for something. It's waaayyyy too expensive, but to me it is a non-negotiable expense. It has developed him more than anything else in his life. I can't possibly imagine taking that away and I'm pretty sure he will go all the way with it.

He's a natural born actor. He can memorize lines like it's nothing and he delivers like a natural. I'd love for him to pursue this talent a little more but his karate takes up much of his free time. He has mentioned that when he gets to Jr. High he would like to audition for the plays they put on each year. I think he'd be great at it.

My beautiful boy is growing up right before my very eyes, sometimes obstinate and sassy like a teenager, sometimes silly like a big kid, sometimes whiny and out of sorts like a toddler. He has many challenges to face in his life. He has Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and recently has begun showing signs of Tourettes Syndrome as well. I guess if I had to deal with that each day I might get a bit pissy sometimes too. And yet he handles it with such grace. He isn't embarrassed. He doesn't try to hide it. He just tells it like it is and so far the kids and teachers at school have been very gracious. He has a regular group of kids he hangs out with during school and some very good friends he hangs out with at home and on the weekends. He doesn't worry much about being "cool", which ultimately is better than being pre-occupied by it, but there I times I wish he worried enough to care if his clothes match! Lately, though, he has been asking me what girls like in a guy. I'm NOT ready for that, that's for sure!

I love this boy ferociously. He knows exactly which buttons to push to make me nuts and can debate the point for hours. He lets his emotions all hang out and you never have to guess where you stand with him or what he thinks about something. I love that. He's terrified/fascinated about aliens, but just can't help looking at alien encounter books at the library. He, being a typical OCD person, worries too much about the things he can't definitively prove or disprove, like said aliens and Big Foot and ghosts. Night time at our house is not nearly as peaceful as I would like. He hates sleeping alone and ends up on our floor many nights.

And yet there is such clarity with him at times. He is the one that will stop and say, "wait a minute here. Let's just all take a deep breath and start over" when things are going terribly wrong between us. And as much as his brother drives him crazy, and as mean as he can be to Zoltar, he will defend him to the end if he thinks anyone else is being mean. He will cuddle with his brother when he is afraid and the few times I have thought Zoltar is lost, it's Mr. Man that freaks out the most. He has always been very spiritual even though we don't spend much time talking about such things around here. He has spent a lot of time thinking about the nature of the Universe already, and has developed his own theory about life after death.

There is so much to this young man that when I stop and think about it I am humbled and deeply gratful that I am the lucky person that gets to be his Mom. He's not only my wonderful boy, he's been one of the greatest teachers I've ever had. And I am proud to say, at least for now, he's also my friend. Love you Mr. Man!

Disneyland Christmas Adventure 2009

2010-01-15T14:27:00.000-07:00

So many things to love about this picture. Yes, we are all squinting because it is so bright. And this is the better of two pics taken. I also really like the clear view of the lady in purple's bad bleach job and bottom. I also dig the lady in green directly behind us and the fact that the gentleman we asked to take the picture didn't turn the camera to capture all of Sleeping Beauty's castle, so the whole top is chopped off. Oh well, what can you do.

Here we are at the Reindeer Roundup in Frontier Land. When I positioned the boys, the deer were sideways. I guess they moved while I was focusing the camera. Just as the picture was taken the one on the right let go and made room for more food (if you know what I mean). Can you seriously imagine being able to poo and eat at the same time?

OK, side-note, throughout these pictures I would like to you notice the smiles that my boys purposely practiced and perfected for the photos. These were crafted to make them look adorable.

All right then, moving on.

.

Day #2 was spent in California Adventure. First things first, we had to pay homage to our favorite Pixar movie to date. Oh we've loved them all, but Cars has earned a special place in our hearts. Tow-mater is Z's idea of a cool car. As you can see, M is more of the fast, red, shiny type.

Right after this picture we got in the line for Soarin' Over California. M pitched a fit. The ride was stupid. He was too big for such a stupid ride. He wanted to go ride something cool. On and on and on. Seriously to the point I was getting quite angry and ready to take him back to the hotel. Did I mention Nana and Pops came along for the first two days? Thank GOD for Nana and Pops because 1) they managed to keep him only very obnoxious instead of exteremely obnoxious and 2) they kept me from totally freaking out and telling him what an annoying little *&#% he was being. Just about the time we hit the front of the line, he actually remembered the ride and remembered that, oh yeah, he actually really liked this particular attraction and that he had thought we were doing something different. Never you mind the 1001 times I told him he liked this ride. What do I know right?

M really wanted to ride the BIG BOY rides. So R took him on this one. I hate this ride soooo much. I'm glad R has someone to to do it with that isn't me. M actually looks excited. R looks like he might pass out. Not sure what the hand thing he has going on there is. Right after this, WHOOSH!

That night we went to Goofy's Kitchen Buffet. I didn't realize you had to call early to get a decent reservation, so we ended up going at 8:00 pm. By then we were all fried. We'd been at the Lego store forever, and we were sore, tired and hungry. Luckily the food was OK, not $75 a pop OK, but we were all really hungry so just about anything would have been OK. The boys did really enjoy the characters. Especially Chip & Dale. And while we are at this point of the story I would like to take a moment for a bit of a rant.

I realize that it was getting to a point where the characters were being mobbed and they wanted to make it so people could have a chance to actually get near the character and have a picture taken, etc. etc. But to make it so you have to buy a really pricey meal to see 75% of them is rather ridiculous. It's a racket I tell you!

Rant over. Next. Day #3. Back at Disneyland. This is a Monday mind you. Disneyland actually reached capacity and had to close the gates. So you can imagine how freakin' many people were there. The rides were a joke and even walking around was an exercise in frustration. So we hit some of the less popular attractions. Like to riverboat. And the island formerly known as Huck Finn's island, now known as something like Pirates of the Caribbean island. They did actually put in a few cool pirate-y things, but the best thing was that is was unpopulated and the kids could run and climb and let R and I sit by ourselves for a minute. for those who don't know my kids, they talk a lot. And they don't really care if the other one is talking. And they talk loud and fast. And if no one is talking they will talk just to fill the silence. So by day 3, my ears needed a break. So the island was AWESOME!!!

Day #4 we decided to make use of our early morning. We rode more rides that morning than we did all day the rest of the days. R was over it but I thought the last day was our best day. Again, not sure what R is doing, but M is right on target. We love the Buzz ride. We rode all the good rides one more time in both Disneyland and California Adventure. I was planning to finish the day and trip off with Fantasmic but it was voted and on and everyone was tired and ready to call it a day. From this picture, I think we made the right call.

One last story. On the 1st night of our trip we watched Elf in the hotel room. My boys laughed their butts off at the part where Elf pushes all the buttons in the elevator. They kept joking about doing that and we kept telling them not to. On the 2nd night of our trip, as we reached our floor, R looked around, told us to RUN and hit the buttons. We ran to our room and laughed and laughed. It totally shocked the boys and was fun. Well, I'm sure you can figure out what happened next. The last night, R and I stopped in the lobby to confirm our flight plans. The boys asked if they could go up to the room so we gave them a key. 5 minutes later we open the door to our room and both of them come running, bawling their eyes out, babbling something about SECURITY!!! After we calmed them down enough to talk we found out that they had decided to pull the ELF stunt themselves. However, being young and inexperienced pranksters, they didn't look to see if anyone was getting on the elevator first. A young couple with a baby got on and the man freaked out. He gave them the riot act, asked their names and told them he was calling security. I guess he was being kind of over the top because his wife eventually told him to let it go and leave them alone. Not sure if he was doing it just to scare them or if they came across and individual needing some anger management, but nothing came of it. R taught them one last prankster tip: NEVER GIVE THEM YOUR REAL NAME! Ah, the lessons passed from one generation to the next.

So we had fun and now the boys can quit bugging me about Disneyland and R can go to El Salvador to surf for his 40th birthday without feeling guilty and I got my Disney fix for a year or two. Mission Accomplished.

Menu Planning Monday

2010-01-12T18:03:00.000-07:00

Trying to make life a little more predictable around here by planning our meals out in advance. That way I know what I'll be cooking, thereby skipping the dreaded "what the heck am I going to cook for dinner" at 4 o'clock while standing in front of the fridge, and the kids will know what to expect as well.

Monday- leftover pizza from the birthday party
Tuesday-dinner at a friend's house
Wednesday-curry chicken with rice, corn

Thursday-leftover pork chops, pasta salad, mandarin oranges
Friday-going out-kids having dinner with Nana and Pops
Saturday-potluck-make cookies to bring
Sunday-beef medallions, roasted potatoes, glazed carrots

Wow! I don't have to cook much this week! Love that.

Christmas 2009

2010-01-12T17:01:00.000-07:00

We had an awesome, though hectic Christmas. We are in the middle of a kitchen remodel. We thought we would be getting wood floors on the 15th of December. Because I didn't want to put decorations up and then have to move them, only to put them back again, I put off decorating. As most people who have done any sort of remodeling know, what the plan is, and what actually happens are usually two different things. When the floor arrived on the 15th, knowing that it needs to acclimate for about 2 weeks, and being the Einstein that I am, I realized that we wouldn't be getting our floors before Christmas. At this point I realized, not without some major guilt tripping from my eldest and my father, that I had better put up a tree. So I did. Voila! Christmas decorations done! Meanwhile I was slowly moving everything out of the kitchen and the living room to prepare.

Now to add to the crazy, cuz that's how I roll y'all, and after deliberating on what the hell to get my kids for Christmas because they already own a ton of ~~crap~~ toys, and I'm totally bizarro mom because I don't allow much in the way of electronics, I suggested we take the kids on a Christmas trip to DISNEYLAND. OK, OK, I will totally admit that I've been jonesin' to see the mouse but I figured the boys would be happy too. To my utter and complete surprise R. said YES. I later realized that it was because he had a 40th b-day trip planned to surf in El Salvador for 10 DAYS and he was feeling like he better do some kissing up. And to keep it really interesting we decided to keep it a surprise. And to add even more madness we decided to leave ON CHRISTMAS DAY. That way it would be immediate gratification like any other Christmas present, and the floor guys could do their dirty work while we were gone. And so, that is what we did.

So my kids had a week of school off before Christmas which had to be the most boringest week of their lives because I was working my arse off to have everything painted and moved before we left but of course I couldn't tell them that. I just kept promising them that we would do some fun stuff after Christmas. The day before we moved out all the appliances and everything but the couch and the Christmas tree. Furniture piled up EVERYWHERE dude. Total fire hazard.

Christmas morning M woke up at 4:30 AM. OK I wish there was a way to emphasize the OMG factor of that in writing, so just imagine I yelled the 4:30 part emphatically to emphasize the ridiculousness of that. When, being the ruiners of all goodness and fun that we are, we suggested (OK required) him to GO BACK TO BED!!!! he spent the next hour crying. Sobbing really and bemoaning how difficult his life is and how he wished he could be more patient but just couldn't. At 5:30 am Z woke up and told M to go back to sleep because he thought that it was still Christmas Eve and that if M didn't stop crying and go to sleep already then Santa would never come. M informed him between sobs that he was trying for the love of Pete. At 6:00 R and I relented and let them go get their stocking while we put on our robes and slippers and got a cup of life, I mean coffee. And so our day began.

Now let me tell you that I was actually a little worried about how this Christmas was going to go over. Not only were they notr getting much in the way of stuff from us, but Santa was unable to deliver the only thing Z wanted, a bigger tractor with a scoop or snow plow. Now mind you, Santa was NOT lazy or uncaring. Santa had searched the world over for a bigger tractor with a scoop and/or snow plow.

Finding a tractor for a child over the age of 5 and 50 pounds proved to be a daunting task. Apparently most children grow out of the construction phase. But let me tell you people, there is an underserved segment of the population out there, kids over the age of 5 who have construction and farming in their blood. These are the builder children, the ones who dismantle things and build new things with them even if these things are your new stuff and his building seems a little more like destroying. These are the children that become contractors or architects or farmers. These are outside kids, boys aching to become men. The hands on kind of kid. And I have one. And I could not find this kid a tractor. Sidenote: when a family doesn't have TV their children don't see much in the way of advertising and so when they ask for something it is usually because they really really want that particular item. Even more so when it is the ONLY thing on their list and they have written Santa about it more than once. Ugh.

But guess what? They do make them. In Germany. And they do sell them. In Europe. Does anyone in the U.S. have one? Nope. Ask me how much it costs to ship one here? $400 is my answer. WTF!! Don't we have farm kids in the U.S. who want a tractor? Why on earth can't you find one here? I dunno. But there is a happy ending to our story. I found one on E-bay, right here on American soil. So I bought it but it wouldn't be here before Christmas. And to add some more to the crazy, both boys birthdays are in the beginning of January. So I had his present in the bag.

So we get up and they see that Santa has brought them a new flat screen TV (not even sure why that happened yet because it is still in the box) and were excited. Then they see that they have each received a new carry on suitcase. Moderate enthusiasm. Then they open their Santa gifts which include Lego sets and a tool box for Z and a fire starting flint for M (maybe I have a secret shadow side wish to have my children destroy my home, I don't know). Then they open two Mickey Mouse greeting cards that inform them we are going to Disneyland. And much to my relief and satisfaction they are STOKED. M kept asking if it was a joke and Z kept yelling "Thank You". And that we were leaving later that day was even more exciting. But yes, Z did mention that he was sad he didn't get his new bigger tractor with a scoop and a snow plow. I told him we would find one for his birthday, wink-wink.

So it went well. R and I then spent the next few hours getting everything ready for the floor guys to come and getting everything packed for our adventure. Then we headed off to Nana and Pops for breakfast and some gift opening with the extended family. At 1 PM we said good-bye and headed off to the airport. A quick 1 hour and 30 minutes later we touched down in Cali, found our shuttle, checked into the airport and settled in. Then we had an extremely mediocre buffet at the hotel, who I will cut some slack because a) they are in the middle of a huge remodel, and b) we got a screamin' deal because of said remodel, and c) kids ate free so it wasn't too expensive. And with that we went to bed so we could get ready for DISNEYLAND!!!

I'll save the Disneyland info for the next post.

How Family V does Christmas

2009-12-25T09:04:00.000-07:00

GOOD MORNING ANYONE WHO ACTUALLY READS MY BLOG!!!!

I'm totally using the same questionnaire found at SortaCrunchy's blog. What can I say? I like waxing poetic about myself.

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate?

I like egg nog, I really do. I'm not sure why I want to say egg nog, but if I'm honest, I'm a hot chocolate person. In the winter months we drink A LOT of hot chocolate. M, on the other hand, loves him some pumpkin spice egg nog. He's had 3 quarts in the last two weeks. Time to lay of the nog dude.

2. Does Santa wrap?

You know, it really depends on the year. Growing up at my house Santa always wrapped. R's house on the other hand was definitely a not wrapped house. This was a bit of an argument for the first few years of parenthood. R wanted to come home from the festivities and go to bed. I would still have loads of wrapping to do. He would proceed to tell me I was crazy, I would call him a lazy scrooge. Fun times. Now if I'm in a hurry, no wrap. This year there was a mix of both.

3. Colored lights or white?

I bought LED lights last year for outside. I can't say I've fallen in love with the look, but I'm all for the environmental and financial benefits. Inside I usually go for white. I bought a pre-lit tree last year, which my cat promptly went to town on. For most of this year and last there was one section that I couldn't get to light so we had the tree on blinking lights as a distraction (worked pretty well if I do say so myself). This morning I went to turn on the tree and none of it came on, so currently the answer is: none.

4. Do you hand mistletoe?

No. I always think I would like to though. Where does one even buy mistletoe?

5. When do you decorate?

Many years it is right after Thanksgiving. Last year I had friends giving me loads of crap because I started before Thanksgiving. This year we are in the middle of a remodel and are having wood floors installed on the 28th. Originally we thought they were going in on the 15th so I told the kids we would wait until the floor was done and then do the tree. When that day came and went I figured I better put up a tree. So we (or more accurately, I) put up the tree on the 19th. Rich is often the first to put up the house lights because he like to get it done before it really snows. This year, I don't know what happened, but it happened pretty late as well. Slackers, we are.

6. What is your favorite holiday dish?

Hands down it is my mom's Sweet Potatoes and Sausage recipe. I've never like the sweet goo that most people try to pass off at Thanksgiving. Apparently my mom felt the same way. I was in my late teens when my mom found the recipe in a low-fat cookbook. It is:
1 lb. turkey sausage browned, add 3-4 leeks, sliced, sauteeing until transluscent, add 1/2 t thyme. Slice 4-5 sweet potatoes. Layer with sausage mixture, starting with sweet potatoes, twice. Pour 1/4 C apple juice over the top, sprinkle with parmesan cheese and pop in a 350 degree oven for about 30-40 minutes. Soooo yummy!
I'm also a fan of R's grandma's 7 layer cake. An old Hungarian classic that she makes once a year. She is 84 and didn't have the energy this year :( I guess I better learn how to make it to keep the tradition alive.

7. Favorite holiday memory?

Hmmmm.... I'd like to have some P.C. memory that isn't about stuff and is filled with the spirit of Christmas, but honestly, the first thing that popped into my mind was the HUGE Barbie dream house I got in 1st grade. The funny thing is, I really only played with Barbies because my best friend Cheri liked them. But it was a really cool house. My parents told me later it took my dad 8 straight hours to build. He kept calling my mom to swear and bitch about it. See, there's your Christmas Spirit. Isn't it beautiful my dad would do that for me? True sacrifice and unconditional love and all that.

Actually, I also really like helping my mom wrap the Santa gifts to my youngest sister late on Christmas Eve. She is 8 years younger than I am and it was really fun to know what she was getting and watch her surprise and happiness.

And last but not least (OK I realize this is 3 memories but it is my blog right?), I realize now that I liked when my brother would come into my room to get me and we would sneak up the stairs, partners in crime for 1 morning a year, to peak into the living room. We weren't allowed to go in or wake up our parents (who I now realize were trying unsuccessfully to sleep in a little) until 8 am. We'd take turns crawling or tip-toeing to the doorway, scan the room and report back. Usually we'd get busted once or twice. Finally mom would tell us we could look at the stockings. There was always, among other things, an apple, orange, Avon chap stick, Fernwood sandwich mints and barrettes in mine. Good times.

8. When and how did you learn about Santa?

I think it was about 3rd grade. I was definitely a kid that wanted to believe, so I remember just choosing to do so even when the other kids were choosing not to believe. And my older brother swore he believed, and he was older and cool, so if he believed, I believed. At some point, I just realized it didn't make sense. I had found presents under the bed one year, the tags were in my mom's handwriting, etc. I told my brother he didn't have to pretend anymore, he told me I better not tell my younger sisters and to pretend for mom and dad's sake as well. So I did. I realized he pretended for several years for me and that I appreciated that, so I did that for my sisters. I wasn't sad or mad or disappointed. I guess I felt more clever for having figured it out and pulling one over on my parents. Plus I knew Santa would still come because I had younger sisters and my parents had to give us stuff to keep up the charade for the younger ones.

I'm figuring it is our last year around here. M is in 4th grade and I see him going through all the mental gymnastics I did to continue believing. Z keeps saying it doesn't make sense, but since M believes, and he is still fairly easy to lie to, he vacillates. I know the younger ones stop believing earlier, and M can't keep a secret worth shit, so I figure this year was it. I'm kinda sad. I can't believe it went so fast and it makes me feel like time is going WAAAYYYY to fast. On the other hand, I'm kinda relieved to not have to be so careful and to move on to the next phase where the kids can help me pick out what they want, or we can choose a vacation instead of gifts. And I wonder if we should still keep it up even though both kids know? Not sure how to proceed at that point.

9. Do you open a gift Christmas Eve?

Nope. I guess cuz we didn't as kids. R's family did the PJ thing I think, which I considered doing, but my SIL L. gives them PJs at our V family Christmas shindig every year (which I think is such a cool aunt thing to do by the way), which is usually the Sunday before the big day, so they wear those.

10. How do you decorate the tree?

It's kind of an evolving thing. This year we used only red, white and silver ornaments. I thought it looked really pretty while the lights still worked.

11. Snow. Love it or leave it?

Since I live in Utah I'm stuck with cold for the Winter. If it is going to be cold, it might as well snow so we can at least snowboard or sled. And I'd rather look outside to a white winter wonderland than a gray bleak landscape. And it clears out the dreaded inversion gunk, so that is always a nice benefit. But honestly, I could move someplace warm for the winter and be just fine. A yearly snowboard vacation would be just fine by me. I HATE BEING COLD!!!!

12. Can you ice skate?

Can I skate? Technically yes. Can I skate well? With any amount of grace or fluidity that one thinks of when one thinks of ice skating? HA! No. But I do think it is fun to give it a go once or twice a season, preferably outside.

13. Do you remember a favorite gift?

Aside from the Barbie Dream Mansion? I remember a few, mostly from my teen years, and mostly clothes . In 4th grade I had my first fight with my mom about clothes. China doll shoes were very in style and I wanted some. They were total cheapy cloth shoes and she wanted me to get some Bass loafers. I threw a fit and we compromised on me getting both. Of course the loafers were warmer in the winter and lasted way longer. In 6th or 7th grade I received a Scritti Politti tape from my brother. It was significant because he was a rocker and I was a waver and it was an ongoing feud about which was better. So the fact that he gave me a waver music tape was really nice. In 6th grade I also started wearing women's sizes and my mom took me to the Limited and I got several very cool outfits. In 7th grade I wanted some Reeboks with the straps but there were sold out everywhere so I got the low tops with the laces. I just never loved them. And my Freshman year a got a new Columbia ski outfit with the black tights and big puffy bright coat. I looked good.

14. What is the most important thing about Christmas?

Bonding as a family.

15. What is your favorite holiday treat?

I still love the Fernwood mints.

16. Fave tradition?

Opening gifts? Is that weak? It's true.

17. Star or Angel?

Totally a star person.

18. Giving or receiving?

After reading The Five Love Languages I realized my primary love language is gifts. R's is not. For years I felt bad that I spent a lot of time and effort to give him the perfect gift and he often didn't give me anything at all. I've realized that I like to give great gifts and it doesn't matter if the other person matches my gift to them. That said, I do love receiving something heartfelt. I love the cheesy stuff my kids make me at school. R and I have talked about our Love Language and he is doing better.

19. Do you like candy canes?

Sure.

20. Fave Christmas show?

Probably A Christmas Story. Makes me laugh every time.

21. Saddest Christmas song?

Well obviously it is Christmas Shoes. I mean come on, his mom is freaking dying for hell sakes. I seriously hate that song. Who the hell writes a song like that?

22. Thing You are most looking forward to for next Christmas?

That my sister and her husband will have moved back. They are both pretty cool cats and S has a wicked dry sense of humor that I so appreciate. And the kids love them. They didn't fly home this year and they are definitely missed.

23. Best thing about this Christmas?

We are going to Disneyland. TODAY! So excited.

24. Fave gift this year?

It's a tie between the bag I bought for Rich to give me and the bicycle basket I bought myself. I got a really cute note from Myles too.

25. Christmas Wish?

Sounds cheesy but I truly do wish for each and every person on this earth to find Peace within their heart.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Hi-Ya!

2009-11-21T19:28:00.000-07:00

M had a tournament this morning. He took 3rd for his self-defense technique. I really thought he was going to get 3rd for his kata as well but he didn't. He got his butt kicked in sparring but he was also much smaller than both opponents. All in all I'm glad he won at least trophy to keep his spirits up.

The more I watch the kids do karate, especially when I watch the girls on the tournament team train and compete, I know I want to get my black belt. It looks so empowering. I need to ask M's karate instructor which school he would recommend for me. I seriously am thinking it is time to get this goal going.

After the tournament the boys and I went to see Harry Potter 6. I've read all the books but I forgot how sad The Half Blood Prince is. Just long and bleak. The movie was well down though. We have been watching the first 5 movies at home lately and I'm impressed with how much their acting has improved over the course of the movies.

And to top it off, tonight we are watching UP on DVD. I really like the movie but the beginning is so sad! Makes you realize how quickly life can pass you buy while you think you will get to your dreams "later".

Makes you think.

I've Been Buffaloed!

2009-11-09T15:10:00.000-07:00

So Z has been telling me for ages that he has $24.41 in his coin jar. I keep promising him I will take it to the bank to have it turned into dollars. This has been going on for over a month now.

So yesterday I take the boys to Target to get underwear and socks (waaayyy too exciting, I know). Z starts in that he wants a Star Wars Lego set. I remind him that he has no more money in his allowance envelope since he spent it all at the rock shop a few weeks back, but I do owe him $10 for this week's allowance, minus $2 for savings, giving him a grand total of $8. Not nearly enough for the Lego set he has in mind. He reminds me that he has $24.41 in coins and if I will front him the money I can keep the coins. I really don't mind buying Legos because I think they are just about the perfect toy (except barefoot in the middle of the night), so I agree. He picks one out, asks if we are going straight to pay, then proceeds to nag me for the next 10 minutes as I drag him over to get R some underwear and then through the Christmas decor just because I want to. As soon as he gets home he builds it and then of course tells me he wishes he had another Lego set.

Fast forward to 10 minutes ago when I decide that I will take his change jar and add it to mine. I look in, and it is quite full...of pennies. Then I remember that some time last summer he showed me how to make my money "bigger" by putting the penny half way in, so the automatic counting mechanism goes off, then pulling it out to do it over and over again. I tried explaining how it didn't really work because he really still only had the one penny. He seemed to not get that at all, I decided it was hopeless and we moved on. Until this afternoon. Looking at this large pile of pennies (and a few Costa Rican coins) I use my exceptional reasoning skills and conclude that there is no way he has $24.41. Being bored and a huge procrastinator, I decide to add them, one by one, to my magical coin counting jar. Yeah, I feel smart. I'm writing this with coin blackened fingers and I'm just over $3 richer.

Of course I'm not going to say anything. Money is still pretty much lost on Z. But you bet your bottom dollar that I won't fall for that again.

Just Kill Me Now

2009-11-04T10:24:00.000-07:00

So I've been workin' out. Liftin' weights and such. (don't ask about the Sarah Palin accent, not sure where it came from). I have a new workout partner who we shall call LESLIE!!! Well Ms. Leslie is one tuff beeyatch (not said with malice, mind you, instead spoken in pain). Each week I drag my sorry out-of-shape ass to the local gym and secretly pray that Leslie has met with some sort of issue that will keep her from her killing-G-with-a-workout duties. Not like she got ran over by a bus issue, just maybe that she had to meet with a client, or had a flat tire, or the swine-flu. Nothing MAJOR people. But no, she shows up regularly to punish me.

Now you may be asking "G, why on earth would you pick Ms. Leslie as your workout partner if you feel this way"? To which I would reply, "Because I'm VAIN for hell sakes! I want to have a rockin' MILF bod. DUH!" And Leslie is strong and not wussy and won't let me be wussy and won't skip out on the workout because Einstein's is calling our name. Leslie wants to workout. I've never had a workout partner that actually wants to really workout. And because I'm also SCARED, I don't dare stand her up either. And so every Tuesday and Thursday I go, with trepidation in me heart, to work my muscles (said Muskles).

Well, yesterday way like any other Tuesday. Leslie: you ready for some legs? Me: isn't Tuesday arms? (Because unlike a regular girl, I actually have a stronger upper body than lower body. Can you say HE/SHE?) Leslie: We haven't done legs in awhile, so let's do legs. (Leslie loves legs. She is the kind of gal that kicks most guys asses on the uphill climb mountain biking). Me (in a tiny little defeated voice): um, ok. So she shows the the 1st circuit (because there is always more than one), and by the end of the first of 3 times doing the 1st circuit, I'm cramping. Leslie has powered thru 2 times by the time I am hobbling thru the 1st. But I manage to make it through all 3 (CONFESSION: I only did 10 reps on the 1 legged squats. Shhhh.). Then she shows me circuit numero dos. Calves. OK, I can do calves. More hamstrings. Greaaat. never mind that I already have shooty burny pains from the back of my knees up thru to the top of my ass. Let's do some MORE! Then some abs. Normally I hate abs the most, but not today. Hamstrings definitely win. I start with abs. OK I am seeing some improvements in strength there. Then I muscle thru the calves. No problemo! Then the hamstrings. Again. I barely make it through 10 on each set while Leslie actually LAUGHS AT ME! Or with me. I'm not sure. Anyway. I figure we have to be done right? I can barely walk. But nooooooo. One more circuit. I'm figuring abs and telling myself, "You can do some abs, it will be fine". About this time I also start thinking about tapping various spots on my face because I've been reading about this stress reduction technique where you tap all around your body and tell yourself stuff while you think about your issues and supposedly, poof!, you don't have an issue anymore. EFT or something. You know the guy that says, "I CAN MAKE YOU THIN!". But I'm too self-conscious, so I don't. We head into the group room and she pulls out a step and two risers. OK, Leslie, what are you up to? And then she tells me, you guessed it, one more set of, all together now, HAMSTRINGS! I honestly thought about walking out right then. Sort of like my disastrous Mexican bikini wax (oh! rojo!) where I wanted to jump off the table and run out of the "spa" screaming with half a bush wax while trying to put on my pants, but didn't, and instead just went to my happy place until it was over. Pretty much just like that. So I do the first set. Ouch. Then we do some sit-ups, for which I am actually grateful for. Then set number two. This time Leslie "forgets" that she is helping me place the weights between my feet and starts on her own set. I think, "I can do it!" flop around like a fish out of water for a minute trying to get the weights positioned correctly, do so, then attempt to propel my body forward to the right spot on the step. Instead I spaztically throw myself forward all of about 2 inches and land half on the step, half off with a loud "umph!" at which point Leslie starts giggling and can't really stop while she helps me again. We finish up and I gingerly walk out of the gym saying, "see you Thursday!".

You know when you realize that you are so sore now, that by tomorrow you will be crippled, and the next day may just possibly be even worse? That's how I felt all day yesterday. My legs actually collapsed under me in Kohls. Luckily I caught myself and didn't sprawl on the floor. By 8:30 I was ready for bed. I would have taken a bath, but the Z-man used all the hot water for his bath. Inconsiderate much?

I woke up this morning pretty much as expected-broken. I need to paint but it just ain't gonna happen today. I want to Zumba but I'm not sure I can. I dread having to pee because lowering myself to the toilet is such an ordeal. I just want to sit. I know it doesn't make much sense, but I'm going to go take a hot bath with epsom salts and hope that my muscles loosen up enough to go to Zumba. If not, I may just find a stack of books and read in the sun all day. It is such a beautiful day. Even my hardcore workout husband would understand because he has been just this sore before.

Oh Leslie. I love ya. I really do. But I'm saying it for the record: I AM ONLY DOING 12 REPS UNTIL DECEMBER. Self-preservation mode has kicked in. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to hobble off to the bath. Is it too early for wine? Yeah? Fine, I'll take some green tea instead.

Remember Me?

2009-10-19T22:27:00.003-06:00

I haven't posted in ages. Not sure why. So I guess I better give some updates.

First of all, I'm sure there aren't a lot of people reading this because I changed the name of the blog to make it all a little more private. So if you are...Hi!

What have I been up to? Well...we're remodeling the kitchen. It started with me just repainting the cabinets. Then while I was doing that we ripped out the nasty carpet (carpet in a dining room-GROSS) with the plan of me just painting the subfloor until we can afford hardwood floors. Then we got a line on a granite sale and bought two slabs for the counters. Since we already tore out the flooring and were going to tear off the counters, we decided to move the cabinets around a bit. Instead of a U shaped kitchen we now have an island. So right now my kitchen is a total wreck, everything is out of the island cabinets and off the counters. Tomorrow we rip off the remaining counters and remove the sink. Wednesday we will be getting the new granite and a shiny new 9" deep stainless steel sink. I can't wait! Then I can finish painting the cabinets, put everything away, and start on painting the floor.

What else...well the monkeys are both in school all day now. I've been revelling in the time ALONE. It's nice to have them gone because when they come home I'm excited to see them and be with them. During the day I have been doing too much shopping. I've also been cleaning more. And I rejoined the gym and have been lifting weights with L (who is very strong and kicks my ass every single time) as well as going to Zumba classes. Love, love, love the Zumba classes. My friend S teaches some of them. She is a hoot and even though I suck at shaking my hips in any sort of rhythmic, intentional way, it is fun and I love going. I am getting better if I do say so myself. And I've been getting the yard ready for winter. I've also been volunteering at the school a bit and helping R with marketing. It all keeps me very busy but in a happy way. I love this phase of my life.

I've also been doing a lot of research on ways to help M with his OCD. He has also started having some tics which isn't unusual for people with OCD. Somehow they go hand in hand. Because there aren't really any good medicines for tics, and there really isn't anything that can be done with therapy to help them go away, I've been looking at alternative therapies, especially diet therapy and supplements and herbs. And there is a ton of information out there! So we've been tweaking our diet and taking more supplements and I can see some positive changes already. I think regardless of the effect it has on M, it is good for all of us to eat more whole foods, especially fruits and veggies, and to cut out the artificial crap. M's health issues have definitely made this a priority lately. So there is the silver lining I guess.

Freddy the cat went missing a few days back for just over 24 hours. We were all worried when he stayed out all night, but when the neighbor mentioned the HUGE coyote hanging out across the street, I was sure he was a coyote late night snack. By the time he did come home I had spent the morning bawling and feeling sick. Needless to say we were all soooo happy to see him when he showed up. He won't be going outside again until next Summer. He hates being stuck inside but that is just too damn bad!

I'm getting excited for P's baby girl to arrive! One more month. I seriously adore other people's babies. My new nephew C is soooo cute! I babysat last week and it was actually fun to cuddle, rock, walk and pat him when he was crying. So sweet! Babies are truly amazing and one of the great joys of life. Seriously. They are miraculous.

The boys are doing great. M is in 4th grade and doing well in school. His teacher says she really enjoys him and finds him very interesting. He is getting tall and more pre-teen every day. He barely ever wants to cuddle, which sucks because he has always been a world class cuddler. He seems to have a good group of friends in school that accept him, tics, OCD and all. He also has a few close friends that he spends quite a bit of time with. He is a purple belt in karate and has joined the tournament team. Two nights a week he spend almost 3 hours doing karate, which I think is awesome. I really enjoy watching him do his various events. He is also a Weeblos in the Boy Scouts and is pretty jazzed about it. I think scouts is a great way for boys to find self-esteem through emerging competence. He just thinks it's fun. He's gotten quite brave. I was really proud of him at Lagoon last week because he did every single ride he has been scared to go on. That has to feel good inside. And as always he is reading a ton, soaking up random facts, talking non-stop and cracking me up. He's awesome.

Z is in 1st. He is doing great. I expected him to be over it rather quickly, but the school work comes easily to him and I think he enjoys the social aspect. By the weekend though he is ready to be home, playing with his vehicles and doing his own thing. He has a group he plays with regularly at recess and a few friends in the neighborhood he plays with as well. The wonderful thing is that M and his friends have finally accepted Z and let him play pretty much all the time. Over all M and Z are doing really well together and we have almost no fighting. A year ago I wouldn't have believed it could happen. As always Z is way into tractor's and all things construction. For Christmas he would like a child-size forklift. Too bad they don't make them! He is always busy building something and quite happy to play alone, outside with his toys for hours. He is playing soccer and is really good at it. He played flag football last Summer and loved it. He is also such a great helper and a total sweetheart.

R is working his butt off and I think doing an amazing job in our economy and real estate market. While is total volume of sales has been lower this year, we have done much better about not going into debt and I'm proud of us for that. When the market recovers, I think he will really take off. He is still diligently working out almost every morning and mountain biking whenever he gets a chance. He looks really great. I can confidently say that he is in the best shape of his life. He is definitely aging very well! He has also really come into his own as a father and I am lucky to have him as my hubby! I think we balance each other very well.

So there is a bunch of stuff on Family V. Of course there is more, but I will save that for another day!

The Giver by Lois Lowry

2009-08-29T14:40:00.002-06:00

The Giver by Lois Lowry

My rating: 5 of 5 stars
what a thought provoking book! it really makes you think about how the duality of our existence creates the contrasts that create meaning. life without emotion would be almost pointless! it also makes you think about personal choice and consequences, the lessons to be learned from our mistakes and how having these freedoms inherently means that there will be suffering and life will be very unfair in some regards but it still better than a life where everything is predetermined. very much reminds me of the LDS concept of the two plans presented in the pre-existence. it also had a lot of Christ symbolism, especially in that Jonas was the chosen one to bear the burden for all and the despair and loneliness in being the only one able to understand the human condition in its entirety. I really enjoyed the book. The end wrapped up a little to quickly and vaguely for me, but it certainly left me thinking about our freedom to shape our own life and the what that means for me personally, but more interestingly, what that means for all of mankind. But I still wonder, why didn't baby Gabe sleep? What did he know or what was his ability?

View all my reviews >>

Simple Living: One Couple's Search for a Better Life

2009-07-13T09:58:00.002-06:00

Simple Living: One Couple's Search for a Better Life by Frank Levering

My review

rating: 5 of 5 stars
I really liked this book even though I wasn't sure I was going to. I expected another list of ways to simplify, but instead it is really their story of how they simplified their lives and the values they believe go along with a simple life. I wasn't sure I cared about their journey, but she is a thoughtful, interesting writer and by the end of the first chapter I DID care. By the end of the book you almost feel as if you know them, and wish you did. I've always enjoyed her PBS program, this gave me a new appreciation for Wanda and Frank. The chapter that really got under my skin was the one on volunteering. It's something I really would like to spend more time doing, alone, and as a family.

View all my reviews.

Ladder of Years (a book review)

2009-07-13T09:50:00.001-06:00

Ladder of Years by Anne Tyler

My review

rating: 5 of 5 stars
This book has really stuck with me over the years. The idea of walking away from it all, regaining the self, and then integrating the two lives...i find it more compelling as time goes by. It's an age old predicament i think many women (probably some men too) can identify with. Who am I without this husband, these children, this life? Who wold I have become without it? What do I really want out of life and can I have the best of all worlds. I really should reread it because I think about it when I'm having one of those days.

View all my reviews.

Our Family Rules

2009-07-10T10:24:00.004-06:00

Most families have some rules they operate with. As a child my family had some hard and fast rules, such as come straight home from school-then you can play, chores must be done before play, don't even think about looking at Mom and saying "So what?!", etc. These rules were never written down, we just picked up on them after learning the hard way, i.e. breaking the unknown rule and being punished for it. My parents were fair, and they weren't overly strict. Most child-rearing experts agree that consistently applied rules help children feel secure and help families function more smoothly. Most also agree that consistency is key.

Last year, after a rough year of sibling rivalry and household stress due to financial and health reasons, I felt like our family was NOT functioning well. I was tired of the bickering and all out brawling, I was tired of yelling, crying, feeling like a horrible mom, and I was tired of feeling like I was doing it all. We took action on many of the issues were facing, and among the changes were a new, simple, easy to remember set of rules. They are really basic, but almost every situation we encounter can be filed under one of our rules.

#1 The Golden Rule- Do unto others as you would have done unto you. In other words, treat people the way you would like to be treated.
This is the grand-daddy of all rules in my opinion. If the whole world behaved with this in mind, think of the difference it would make! I consistently remind my kids to think about how they would feel about things. Often it is after and incident that they were either involved in or witnessed, but sometimes I manage to catch them before something happens and we are able to think something through before it happens.

This is also a great rule for Mom & Dad. It helps me remember that a) my kids are every bit as important as I am. They have feelings and ideas and opinions that are strong and I need to remember that. and b) my kids are watching. They are watching how R and I treat each other, how we treat our family and friends, and how we treat strangers. I'm certainly far from perfect, but I have caught myself before doing or saying something that I know I would feel bad about if it were said or done to me.

When they are a little older and have more of an ability to think abstractly I will introduce them to The Platinum Rule- Do unto others as they would have done unto them. Sometimes what we would like to have done to us or for is isn't at all what another person would choose. If we take some time to think it through, we can probably venture a good guess what the other person would want. And if not, The Golden Rule is about as safe of a fallback plan as it gets.

#2. WE DON'T HURT. Straight up. This one is non-negotiable. It is an automatic consequence, then we'll talk. We don't physically hurt people or animals. We don't hurt people with unkind words or actions or attitudes. We don't hurt ourselves. I tell them they have the right to feel any feelings that come up, but they NEVER have the right to hurt someone because of those feelings. Period. The End.

#3. WE ARE RESPECTFUL. I tell them that they can express any thought, idea or feeling, as long as they do it respectfully. So many things fall under this category, it is the great catchall for how we function in society. Show respect for other people's time by being on-time for commitments (I'll admit this something I continually work on). Show respect for people by being grateful for what is done for you. Respect our home and our belongings. Respect your friend's home and belongings. Don't swear or use ugly language. Use your manners. Respect yourself by taking care of yourself and not letting others pressure you into things that aren't good for you. Don't be rude about food you don't like. Listen the first time. Etc. etc.

#4. DO YOUR FAIR SHARE. Kids need to learn that life is not easy, and that your fair share may be more than someone else's for many reasons such as age, ability, finances, proximity, etc. Do your chores because you live here and we all need to pitch in. Help when asked. Look for ways to help. Clean up after yourself. Life requires work. Nothing stays done for long. Work first, then play.
I think so many children feel very entitled. I aim to have my children grow up knowing that work is part of the deal. Nothing comes easy, especially the important things. If we expect to do work in our lives, and we learn to work hard, life is actually easier! Paradoxical, but very true! I hope to teach them most of the things they will need to know to be a functioning adult, both inside the home and outside-laundry, cooking, yard-work, basic car maintenance, survival techniques, how to use tools, taking care of animals, how to work hard on a team, how to be a good employee and so on.

This is definitely one we are still working on. I'm not as strict a task master as I should be. I need to be more consistent about making sure chores are done every single day, that they work before they play. I still feel like I do more than my fair share. But by making this an official rule, it is in my thoughts more often and we are making progress. And kids really are very aware of what "fair" is. If I ask them if they feel they are doing their "fair share", they usually are honest and the answer is often "no". Then they are willing to self-correct (at least for a few minutes!) and get to work. They realize that it isn't fair for me to do it all, even if they don't really want to help! By the time they are teen-agers I am aiming to have the household responsibilities divided fairly between the four of us. I would also like to find a volunteer opportunity for our whole family because I believe very strongly that part of doing your fair share includes giving back to those that need help. And I believe that people who help others are happier and more grateful.

So there they are. It has gotten to the point that I can look at my kids as just say the number of the rule they are breaking and they know what that means. I'm often tempted to add other rules, but when I think about it, whatever it is usually falls under one of the existing ones.

I feel that these rules teach the basic virtues we all want our children to possess. Honesty-#s1 & 3. Kindness #1. Integrity-#2. Patience-#2. Perseverance-#3. Empathy- all of them. At the end of my parenting experience, I want to feel like I raised my boys to be "good" adults. Of course, how the ultimately end up is their choice, but I'd like to steer them in the right directions and give them the skills to be happy and successful people.

Abundance

2009-06-14T15:35:00.004-06:00

Back in January I decided this was the year I would focus on abundance. And in general I have. But I tend to have a fairly optimistic view anyway. I've been thinking I ought to have more of a plan though. Some way to track if I'm more focused on abundance or a record of my abundance mindset activities or something. So as a baby step I am going to record the things I think demonstrate abundance in my life here.

Here's my first one: Yesterday I went to the pharmacy to get a prescription for M. The cost is generally about $10 since it is a generic, but yesterday the pharmacist just handed it to me and said, "thank you". I stood there a minute with a confused/suspicious look on my face and said, "it's free"? He said the computer said it was. I replied, "I'll take it then"! and off we went.

I truly believe that the more you notice the good in your life, the more good you will have. Right now, $10 isn't chump change. I'm stretching every dollar. And I'm grateful to have an extra $10 in my HSA today! Thanks Universe! 'Preciate Ya!

Budgets Are Neat

2009-06-13T16:31:00.004-06:00

OK, that might be a bit forced, but I am quite proud of myself for staying on budget the last 2 weeks.

A little while back I posted about our new cash budgeting system. And I have to admit that so far I am thinking it is a really great system for us.

Last week was harder than this week I'm guessing because I had more expenses and it was the first week of getting used to a budget. I also didn't plan for a few things, like teacher's thank you gifts and an impromptu ice cream night because M placed in the top tenth percentile nationally on his standardized tests. I have to admit I knew we didn't have the money, but it is a rare day that R suggests something of that nature, and I did want M to know how proud I am, so I figured we make it up this week. And I grossly underestimated my hair appointment, by $22! I really need to keep track of this stuff I can plan ahead better. All in all I went over budget by almost $85! So I had to take it out of this week's allotment.

This week I only had $100 for groceries, clothes, entertainment, gas and all other incidentals. It is also the first week that the kids are out of school. I can see that having them home most of the time will help keep me out of the stores. I detest shopping with both of them. It is such a stressful thing that I avoid it at all costs. I do foresee, however, that I could spend quite a bit on outings. So to make up for it I did a ton of research on what is available and also found some great websites with calendars of kids activities. I then, ever so cheerfully, declared this THE SUMMER OF FREE FUN!

M had golf lessons Monday thru Friday of this week. I paid for them in May. Totally worth the $40 fee. I will probably sign him up for another round later this summer. He also had cub scout camp Friday and Saturday which was $42. I bit pricey I think, but considering the rest of the year is pretty much free, I guess it really isn't.

Monday it rained and we just couldn't quite get our act together so we hung out all day. I even let them watch DVDs from the library for WAY too long.

Tuesday, racked with guilt, I decided I better get on the summer schedule. After chores and brain time we decided to go see a guy that rescues reptiles give a demonstration at the library. Cost-FREE. It was only an hour, but the kids really enjoyed it. Then we walked to a nearby eatery and had a snack. My plan was to get a cookie or share a larger dessert. This is where my new frugal parenting habits didn't quite kick in. They both wanted their own piece of chocolate cake. I wanted a fruit struesel bar. I knew the cake was too rich for them to finish a whole piece on their own, but I didn't want a fight, so I gave in. I was right, they ate half and threw it away. I ate half of mine and saved it for later. Cost-$11.04. Lesson learned-I need to be willing to fight the battle now so it will continue to get easier instead of giving in out of weakness. I went to the library by myself that evening for a little alone time. I like to read all the magazines I used to buy. At $3+ a pop, reading them at the library saves me some serious dough. I found some good DVDs for the weekend. Hooray for free books, magazines and movies!!!

Wednesday it rained some more. M had a playdate with his buddy. My neices came over to play with Z. Free fun for all. I went grocery shopping that evening because we were out of pretty much everything. I bought a very few basics. Cost-$45.74. M also had karate. Karate is expensive, $190 each month. He does several extra classes and has tournament team training as well. He loves it and it is so great for him. It's the only thing he is willing to work his booty off for. I'm willing to eat beans and rice for him to do this.

Thursday it rained. Seeing a pattern here? What a crappy way to start summer vacay. Oh well. We did our chores and then my kiddos went over to the neighbor friend's house for the afternoon. We went to a BBQ at a friend's for dinner.

Friday M went to camp. Z and I went to get my car from my dad. It has been making a disturbing clunking noise for months now. Everytime someone would look at it they would say they couldn't find anything wrong. Finally I told my dad I was too worried to drive it to Bear Lake, so if we didn't figure it out, I wouldn't be driving the boys up on the weekends. I didn't want the steering to go out down the canyon or something! He finally figured out it is just a loose cap on the McPhereson strut. It isn't dangerous, just annoying. I can replace the entire strut, which is still fine, for $85, or live with the noise. Just gonna live with it for awhile. So I gave him back their Durango, thank goodness because gas for that baby is ridiculous. Then I dropped Z off at his Granny's for their weekly hang out sesh. Salami, cheese, sourdough bread with butter, strawberries, soda and ice cream, plus TV! So totally bad, but I love the me time and they love going to visit. I picked up my sis and headed over to my friend's. We drove out to IKEA for the afternoon. I did very well. I bought 2 pillows for the couch, a whisk, an under the bed storage box for Z's out of season clothing, lunch and some candybars. Cost-just under $25. Which I had in my own checking account, so it didn't come out of the family money. Later P. and I went to Rio for a split salad and some queso. Oh yum! I ate way too much. Then we went to see Star Trek. It's good, I liked it a lot. I was planning on letting my kids see it but I'm glad I saw it first. I'm a bit strict, I'll admit, but I really think it is PG-13. Not because it is gory violent, it isn't. It is pretty scary. Evil aliens from the future already occupy way too much of M thoughts. If that wasn't the underlying theme, and that wasn't M particular anxiety, I would probably think it would be OK. Maybe. There is only 1 scene that is sexually suggestive, but I'm really trying to limit their exposure to that as well. So, I know he's going to be ticked off, but I'm not going to let him see it. And it is waaaayyyy to scary for a 6 year old. I didn't get snacks because i was already so full from dinner. So $6 from the family fund and $8 from my checking. M slept over at a friend's house and Z hung with dad.

Today, Saturday, M again had camp. Z and I slept in until 9:30. So delightful!!! Then we bummed around at home until about 1pm. I had thought I'd take him to the farmer's market down town, but it was, you guessed it, raining. So we went to lunch at Shivers. I had a coupon from our Happenings book for Buy 1 Get 1 Free. We also got a small shake. Cost=just over $9. Then we went to the store to get a prescription and buns for the hot dogs we are having for dinner. To my delighted surprise, the pharmacist told me that the meds were free. I don't know why, but hey! I'll take it!!! Then we bought buns, cheetos (on sale), toilet paper (4 rolls of the cheap stuff to get us through until next week) and 1 lb. of spaghetti in the clearance basket. Cost-$4.08.

So it is Saturday night and we have $6 from our weekly allotment. And I would say we had a pretty fun filled week and we ate just fine as well. My car is almost on E. I need to do a pantry inventory so I can spend as little as possible for groceries next week. Tonight we just plan on eating at home and watching a DVD. Tomorrow we are having breakfast at a friend's cabin just up the canyon and a BBQ with some other friends in the evening. R has a bike ride planned in between. Maybe we'll hit the skate park if it isn't raining. Or visit Nana and Pops.

Monday we start fresh with $172.89. I'm going to sign Z up for a round of flag football which will be $40. And I will need to figure out Father's Day gifts. It may be a good week to stock up on some pantry items as well.

It feels good to be in control and to be thinking before spending and aware of what we are spending our money on. I like having to pick and choose what spending items respresent our values and goals. And so far, I don't feel deprived at all.

Funny!

2009-06-10T08:13:00.005-06:00

Yesterday I took my kids to the library to see a guy who rescues reptiles. All very interesting.

Afterwords we walked to a little restaurant down the street that has delish desserts. Both boys picked out a piece of flourless chocolate cake. I was worried it was going to be too rich and make them sick so I kept asking, "are you sure you want to keep eating that? don't you want to save some for later?". Finally Z looked at me and said in a sort of dreamy drugged voice, "this is so good I wish I was a tiny man...so I could live in it". I couldn't help but laugh out loud. He is so funny when he isn't TRYING to be funny. Love that kid.

Food Waste

2009-06-08T12:37:00.005-06:00

I have seen this feature on several of my favorite blogs lately. I am going to take a picture of my food waste in the hopes that it will help me to waste less. I think the impact of actually seeing it all and then the embarrassment of posting it will lead me to try to get more conscious and creative.

So here is last week's. I figure the first week is bound to be the worst. The olive mix to the left was ancient, and while it didn't smell weird or anything, I decided I didn't see myself ever eating it because I knew how old it was. Next to that is some ancient cream cheese that was waaayy at the back of the fridge. The food in tinfoil is bread pudding I made for my son's Amish party. I ate as much as I could but it started to get really soggy and gross. There is about 2 cups of cream that went bad before I could use it up, cabbage that was turning brown and mushy, the vanilla sauce for the bread pudding that nobody liked. The other bottle of olives was really slimy so that had to go. The green tea was just plain nasty. There is 1/2 a tub of ricotta that was moldy, some pinapple juice I didn't quite finish up, a head of broccoli that was turning brown, shriveled grape tomatoes, shriveled squishy kiwis (3) and 1/2 a beer I didn't finish.

There should be less this week because we went out of town for the weekend, but also because I plan to buy less and use it up before it goes bad. I guess we'll see how it goes!

A Few Updates

2009-06-03T09:22:00.006-06:00

Just thought I'd quickly do a few photo updates while I'm thinking about it.

For Memorial Day we went up to Bear Lake and witnessed the largest bonfire I have ever seen. Z was so worried about going to watch. He kept saying he didn't want to get killed. Finally I realized he thought we were saying bomb fire. Yeah, I wouldn't be hip on attending one of those either.

Last weekend we went to the best 40th birthday party EVER! It was our friend N's and it was an 80s theme. As you can see the birthday boy came in his best David Lee Roth/Van Halen gear. It truly rocked.

And here is a picture of our awesome cat, napping on some random tiny little piece of something. In this case it is the reusable grocery bags I haven't returned to the car. Funny little creatures, cats are.

They boys and I are getting ready to head down to Cedar City for M to compete in the Utah Summer Games. I'm looking forward to watching my little karate kid compete in weapons form, kata and sparring. He's a tad bit nervous, but he'll do great.

Going to Cash

2009-06-01T12:01:00.004-06:00

R and I have decided to switch up our money plan a bit.

Up until now I've just told him how much I need each month and he transfers that amount into my checking account. That would be great if we were making beaucoup bucks and had more money than we could possibly spend. But alas, that is not the sitch. So it leaves a huuuuggge opportunity for living beyond our means. The other issue is that I was still overspending each month, leaving R wondering what the hell. I think it had to do with me designating an amount and not having a concrete amount.

So instead we have decided to live like we have a regular job that brings in a set amount. We'll leave the amount needed to cover the set bills in our checking account and transfer the rest into a different account. Each week we'll withdraw 1/4 of the leftover funds as discretionary expense money, i.e. gas, groceries, clothes, entertainment, etc. When the money for the week is gone-it's gone baby.

I realize this is hardly a novel idea, but it is new for us. I'm hoping it will help us prioritize and really choose how to spend our money. I'm also hoping it will teach my kids some money management skills. Money = cash, not a card that has an infinite supply of funds. And obviously I am hoping it will help us live within our means.

I'm actually excited. I think it could be a grand adventure to maximize our dollar!

Clear the Air Challenge

2009-06-01T11:58:00.003-06:00

Utah is holding a Clear the Air Challenge. I signed up to eliminate 12 trips each week for 6 weeks. So far, by combining errands I've eliminated 2 trips. I could almost count it as 4 trips because I opened a checking account at the bank in the grocery store so I don't have to make a separate trip to the bank all the time.
We always complain about our air and all the junk we can see. It's time to quit complaining and DO something!!!

Self-Discovery

2009-05-18T16:58:00.009-06:00

So I just got back from a trip to Philly for my sister's (That would be Dr. Lisa, DMD to YOU) graduation. Fun times had by all that I will certainly try to get around to blogging about. But what I discovered while I was there is that....

I have really really expensive taste in shoes. More than I ever realized. We went to Macy's (yes I know there are Macy's everywhere, including right here in good old SLC, but the shoe department, as well as the ambiance of the Macy's in downtown Philly is truly a-may-zing) and we looked at shoes, and we tried on shoes, and thanks to my wonderful mother's generosity we actually bought shoes. I narrowed it down to the shoes above.

Aren't they all fantastic?! After much deliberation I ended up with the Marc Fisher sandals, but in dark brown. Practical yet saucy. The Calvin Klein gray peep-toe's were a close second. But what I really really really wanted was so incredibly far out of possible range of choices. Now don't get me wrong, I am certainly not one to complain about getting a FREE PAIR OF SHOES. I mean, hi, do I look crazy? I luuuurrrrvvveee shoes. More than anything. Give me a closet full of jeans, black and/or white shirts and a kajillion million billion shoes and I'm good. I'm more than good, I'm in Nirvana. There is no greater bliss. Yes, I know, how incredibly consumerist of me. I'm trying, but I think shoe love is in my blood. Even my brother has more shoes than most women. Maybe it's because shoes look good and fit no matter what. But I digress. The object of my affection? OK, let's call it by what it really is, lust. Unbridled lust. Well, here they are in all their perfectness.

Tres fantastique, no? Stuart Weitzman's Lateral. I think they just may be real python. I would hope so for an espadrille that will set you back a cool $375. Yeah, you read that right. Almost 400 bones for a pair of shoes with rope soles. But they would work with almost everything. Really. I would wear them with every. single. thing. I. own. I keep talking about having a more French wardrobe. You know, the idea of well made timeless classics that will last forever. The 20% we actually wear in our closet and all that. But how can I ever justify that kind of money on shoes? I can drop $100 no problem. Over that and I have to think long and hard. But I have NEVER, EVER considered that kind of moola on shoes. But I am now. I'm just going to stalk them for awhile. See if they ever go on sale. But then really, how low can they really go? Is $250 a major steal? Can I honestly say, "oh I know, aren't they great?! And I got them on SALE!" with a straight face? I think not.

I have not faced a quandry quite like this regarding a clothing purchase since my early 20s. I'm a little freaked out. But damn, I love those shoes.

Living Green

2009-05-01T19:43:00.004-06:00

I've been thinking about the quality of our life. There are so many ways we can enrich our lives, but one of the most important is living as sustainably as possible.

Here are some ways I try to live a bit "greener":

1. Garden-the last few years we have had a container garden. This year I am expanding to a bed that we cleared out last fall. I've decided that I need to raise it a bit, so this weekend I am going to head to the Home Depot and construct some simple raised bed forms out of 1x6 lumber and L brackets. Then we can fill them in with compost and garden soil. I'm anxious to get some stuff planted. Later this summer I am planning to lose the lawn and add some raised beds there as well.

2. Buy Used-I have a confession to make. I love our local Deseret Industries. You can find the coolest stuff for pennies. Truly. I bet 75% of our purchases come from there. I buy books, clothes, dishes, furniture, appliances, picture frames, decor, you name it. M thinks it just common sense. Why pay 10 times as much for things? Obviously, there are limits to what you can, and should buy used. I don't buy shoes or underwear or bedding. Sometimes convenience or quality or having the latest technology means new is the way to go. But for so many things it just makes sense financially and environmentally to buy used. I find it quite satisfying to find something like a perfect condition North Face coat, size 12, for $6. In a few years, M will be excited to have such a great coat, and I'll be excited I only paid $6 instead of over $1000

These are just 2 of my favorite ways to live a little lighter on the earth. More posts on this important subject to come.

A factoid by M

2009-02-11T22:31:00.006-07:00

M-"Did you know they used handkerchiefs in the war"?
Me-"No"
M-"Yeah in WWII they used to hide the Jews from the Nazis by soaking them in rabbits blood which would lure them into the woods, then they had cocaine in them which would..."
Me-"make them go all loco"?
M-"No! it would make their noses go numb for awhile so they lost the scent of the Jews".
Me-"Huh. I did not know that M. That is very interesting".
M-"Yeah. I thought so too. Goodnight".
Me-"Sleep tight".

As usual, my 3rd grader knows more than I do.

Yes Man by Danny Wallace

2009-02-06T22:59:00.002-07:00

I just finished reading this book. I can't tell you how much I loved it! Why you ask? Well I'll tell you!

First and foremost, it is just damn funny! It really isn't often that I will laugh right out loud regardless of where I happen to be, but this book had me bursting forth over and over. He really has a way of describing things, painting a vivid picture so that you can just imagine how bizarre some of the escapades he participates in are. He has a sharp wit and a keen eye for the ridiculous. He is just so darn likable! Believe me when I say to you "This book is hilarious!".

OK, reason #2 is the message in the book. He is living his life on autopilot, going through the motions. He is on a treadmill, going through the motions but getting nowhere. And then something happens that changes his entire way of thinking. And he realizes that he needs be open to things for life to happen! He has to be willing to acknowledge and act upon the opportunities that are right in front of him if he would only open his eyes and his mind.

Now of course he does this in a very rigid and controlled fashion. As an experiment more than anything. But he does realize that there life is full of "coincidences" once you are open and willing for anything to happen. All you have to do is show up! And is really zeroes in the idea of everything being connected and the cause and effect relationship every single choice and action we make has on the world around us. I love the idea of "Si a todo". Yes to everything. Not as a strict set of perimeters, as his experiment was at the onset. But as a general attitude and motto for a full, rich life.

This book was one that has crystallized so many thoughts and feelings I've been having lately. I just can't stop telling people about its concept, as well as telling my husband the stories that made me laugh. God it feels GREAT to laugh. Out loud. A lot. I need to find more stuff that does that for me.

So read it! Just say YES! Si a todo!

Oh hi, it's me again.

2009-02-05T15:08:00.006-07:00

Well, one month of 2009 already gone. And I never got around to posting my resolutions. Well that's OK, let's just say I used January to really refine my priorities and goals for the year. What I was thinking I'd like to accomplish on January 1st has changed and crystallized into some simpler, but more impact-ful decisions. Sounds to grand doesn't it? Well, not really. It's just life.

Resolution #1

I will bring my own bag instead of using paper or plastic. Even for things other than groceries.

Resolution #2

I will remember that LOVE is a verb.

I will quit trying to change my spouse into a happy, go-lucky optimist, because he really isn't one and it is making our marriage very tense. So I will do my best to point out the good side of things, without being preachy or naggy. When he gets into one of his funks, I will not go all Pollyanna on his ass, nor will I get frustrated with him for not seeing how our thoughts shape our reality. I will either support him by listening attentively, or ask him for what he needs from me, or if I can't be objective, I will tell him I need to think about it before I react, and go from there. I can't keep taking it personally, because it really isn't. He is stressed. He is worried. That is his reality, not mine. I will love him, because I love him. I will do my best to accept him for who he is today. I will be present with whatever our marriage brings and try to not to be so judgmental.

Resolution #3

I will parent as mindfully as I possibly can. I will accept that I am human and will not always do the "right" thing. When I regret how I have handled something, I will acknowledge it, apologize and ask for understanding. I will remember that my children are my equals, they are just younger and less experienced than I am, and that is the way it is supposed to be. I will look for the teachable moments, but I will also look for the learnable moments. My kids are so cool and such fantastic individuals. I will do my best to guide, teach, enjoy, support, and accept my boys for who they are. I will remember that this is their lives we are talking about. I will try my best to take me ego and pride and pre-programmed ideas out of it and just let my heart guide me. I have wonderful motherly intuition. I will trust it, because I have never regretted doing so. I will tell them often how much I love them. I will let them know I trust them to do what is right for them. I will empower them. I will remember that they are children and that they have lots of time to learn "grown-up things". I will take their issues and worries as seriously as I take my own. And I will let them know, often, how cool I think they are. And lots and lots of cuddles and hugs while I can still get them.

Resolution #4

I will live below my means. I will do my best to realize that "stuff" is not what it is about. Money is a resource to help you attend to your priorities and reach your goals. It is not about pride or status. I will do this by simply spending less. I will acquire less stuff. I will look for non-spending solutions whenever possible. I will use my money to further my values and goals. I will expect my spending to have a high ROI. I will save up for things I want. I will remember all the incredible things I already have, and do my best to be grateful and content.

Resolution #5

I will be lucky! I am going to affirm that I am lucky and I will expect lucky things to happen to me. I will also keep track of what lucky things come my way. I will be open to possibilities and say yes more to see what opportunities it may bring. I will express my gratitude daily for all the amazing experiences I have.

Resolution #6

I will reach out to others more. I will call someone to catch up every day. I will do things for the people I care about and support them through their days. I will send cards and letters. I will really listen so I can remember the details. I will HUG (I've never been much of a hugger). I will smile at strangers and strike up conversations when possible. I will be open to what others have to bring into my life, and I will gladly share my gifts with others.

Resolution #7

I will make myself a priority. I will do the things that make me happy because I am every bit as deserving as everyone else. I will cultivate joy in my life. And fun. I will find hobbies that I enjoy, and that give me some time away from my family. I will pursue my interests, even if I have to do them alone. I will see the movies I want to see. I will attend the lectures I am interested in. I will figure out what makes me fabulous (blond hair? pink toes? fab boots? waxed legs? jazzy underwear?) and find the resources to make it happen for myself! I will find ways to learn and enjoy myself. I will be proactive, instead of waiting for it to be a convenient time for everyone else, or for someone else to think of ideas and activities. I will buy myself the gifts I want, the flowers I think are pretty. I will paint the cabinets the color I like. I will journal and blog and collage and imagine so that I keep in tough with my real feeling and desires. I will LOVE me!

Resolution #8

I will walk more. I will walk to keep myself and my kid's and my dog's bodies healthy. I will walk because I am fed up with the quality of the air in this city and am sick about the idea of not letting my kids out to play because the air quality is dangerous. I will walk to put less money in the pockets of people that don't deserve my money. I will keep that money for me and my family. I will walk to have a sense of my community and what is going on in my neighborhood. I will walk and say hello to my neighbors. I will enjoy the feeling of blood pumping in my legs and heart.

Resolution #9.

I will cultivate a home that is peaceful and comfortable. I will not get sucked into the idea that it needs to cost a lot, or that it has to be perfect, shiny and new. I will look for creative, thrifty ways to craft my home into the place I want it to be and a place my family is comfortable and happy. I will make each one of our bedroom's a sanctuary and a personal expression. I will declutter the extraneous and enjoy the cherished. I will learn new skills and take pride in our home!

Resolution #10

I will find a way to make some money for our family. I will do something I enjoy and am good at. I won't do something that is beneath me or that I find boring or disagreeable. I will give marketing for our business the importance it deserves and make sure that each piece has the right message and goes out on time.

So there you have it. I see a lot of "being present" and "living in the now" and being "mindful". I also see quite a bit about loving and accepting, enjoying and fun! I think it boils down to authenticity.

I know that the world has some challenges to overcome. I also know that a bazillion wonderful things happen every freakin' day that no one hears about. I'm going to focus on the positive. I'm doing to do my part to make this planet, my community, my family and my life a better thing than it was last year. I am going to do my best to "be the change that I want to see in the world". Really it comes down to individual actions. I'm excited about this year. I see this year as a time to get back to basics. To cultivate. To learn and improve skills. To prepare. As a catalyst. I also see it as a time for joy, happiness, gratitude and fun. But I see everyday as a time for those. I see those as the purpose and point of life.

Peace!

Bring On 2009!

2009-01-03T11:47:00.004-07:00

2008 flew by faster than I can really comprehend. For the most part I feel like it was a really good year for our family and for me personally. Here is a list of a few highlights:

Obama won! I really could not be more optimistic about the direction he wants to take our country in. For so long I have been a little embarrassed by our false bravado, our selfishness, our disregard for the rest of the world, our "bigger is better" mentality, and "Mine! Mine! Mine!" attitude. We finally have earned some respect from the rest of the world and we finally have a rational, intelligent leader who understands the reality we are in and has a plan to begin to rememdy the disasters we have created. I am behind this new administration 100%

R and I came to some agreements on what we needed to do for the health of our family. We have realized where we need some outside help and acquired it, we are making sleep a priority for all of us, we are focusing on wholesome foods, and are being very selective about the quality and quantity of media in our home. I will readily admit that we slip up often, but for the first time I really feel like we are pretty much on the same page with our parenting.

Z started Kindergarten! We are officially past the "pre-schooler" stage. I have really enjoyed moving on to big kid type activities. We went to Lagoon in October and Z pretty much was able to ride everything he wanted to. He is a whiz at math. A dynamo builder and making progress with his reading. He's an absolute sweetheart and loves to help out. He is willing to work hard and is determined to master the skills he associates with being a man. And we finally made significant progress with his encopresis. What a relief that has been for all of us! Z played soccer this year and really is amazing! He just has a natural talent for sports.

M started 3rd grade. So far we really like both his teachers, Mrs. Mitchell for homeroom and Mrs. Olsen for reading. Speaking of reading, M has read 4 Harry Potter books this year as well as 2 Fablehaven books along with a ton of books in between. He has made significant strides with his anxiety and OCD which makes me very proud. He has become very considerate and understands the consequences of his actions. He and his brother have improved their relationship significantly. They still fight like crazy, but there are periods of fun and calm in between. M also received his orange belt in karate and began to take a weapons class. He is really dedicated to his karate lessons and it has been fun to watch him progress.

We got our new kitty Freddy! What an awesome cat! R was so against getting another pet but is just as in love with him as the rest of us. This cat has certainly added some spunk to our house! I am constantly laughing at the stuff this creature does! This brings the total of pets in the family to 4; Pepe our lab, Freddy the kitty, and 2 beta fish.

R had a successful year with his real estate business. It has been a crazy year for the market but R has been solid and committed to following the systems Keller Williams has created for its Realtors and it has paid off. We've seen many agents quit and have somehow managed to soldier on and keep me home with the kids. All in all, his total sales wasn't much lower than last year. Pretty amazing considering the economic meltdown this country has experienced!

I have lost 31 lbs. this year. While much of this I attribute to coming to terms with the fact that I do have ADD and getting the appropriate medication which happens to have the not so horrible side effect of reducing my appetite, I have also improved my diet and done a lot of walking! I feel so much better physically, mentally and emotionally. I am really proud of myself!

We finally cut a "window" in the wall between the kitchen and the living room and cut a door to have easier access to the storage under the stairs. What a difference these two minor projects have made! Our home feels so much brighter and open with the window. And having access to under the stairs has enabled me to finally declutter my kitchen and organize our food storage. I am so glad we finally did it!

In November M had his tonsils removed. What a champ this kid is. I couldn't believe how brutal it looked in the back of his throat, but he never complained and had a stellar attitude about the whole thing. And now he is sleeping better and hopefully he won't be getting sick as often.

We have 3 new nephews in our family. In April my sister and her husband had their 3rd child and 1st boy, R. This kid is so cute! Lucky for her he is such a good baby and our entire family has really enjoyed having a baby around. In July R's brother and his wife had their first children. Yes, plural, they had twin boys K and S. They are darling! I can't even imagine having twins, but they are handling it all with such an amazing calm. I have been having so much fun with all these babies!

Speaking of babies, R and I decided that we were really, truly done having them. In December we took the plunge and R had the ole snippy snippy. So glad to have that taken care of. He was super grumpy and whiny for a few days, but we survived.

Our boys have become proficient snowboarders this year. It really makes me proud to watch them shreddin' up the slopes!

And to end the year we had a fabulous holiday season. Usually the holidays are stressful and difficult for our family. This year was really pleasant and fun. We spent time with all our favorite people, including my sister L and her husband S who are currently living in Philly. I hope all our future holidays are as great as this one has been.

So that was our year in a nutshell. I'm sure I've missed something important, but this is what has come to mind right now. Tomorrow I will post about my hopes and resolutions for 2009. I've got quite a year planned!

No Spend Challenge Update

2008-11-23T18:30:00.004-07:00

Friday morning I decided to take another look through my gift stash and struck gold. I had a stepping stone making kit that would work just great for a girl. I try to not give more "stuff" for gifts, so this also went a long with my gift philosophy. Her mom probably isn't too stoked but that really isn't my problem right? Money saved $15.00.

Friday I washed jeans and found $7 in my pocket! Love that.

Z's birthday party was at McDonalds. When I went to pick him up M requested a chocolate shake. Their shake machine was broken so I ordered a sundae instead. Spent $1.07 from the found money. He didn't eat it and I found it melted a few hours later.

By the end of Friday I was starting to worry that M wasn't going to eat anything at all. Thursday night he had tried a Michelena's Alfredo Lasagna with Broccoli and eaten a bunch. When I asked him what he wanted for dinner he wanted another one of those. So I ran to the store (amazing what a starving child will do for your resolve to spend money). I grabbed 3 plus 2 mac and cheese. I also grabbed 4 Powerades, figuring he'd probably drank a total of 4 oz in the last 24 hours and I was worried about dehydration. I grabbed a pumpkin pie and a package of broccoli cheese soup. Total $23.50.

Saturday my mom called and wondered what she bring M while he was recuperating. I suggested we just head to the bookstore together so I could get something I knew he would like, plus I always buy my kids a few books for Christmas and I wanted to check out the offerings. I found a series that another little boy recommended while I was there. Total $39.51.

Today was a No Spend day. Good for me, I can actually do it.

I need to go fill prescription tomorrow or Tuesday. I can't decide if I should use the one that gives you a $20 GC to Smiths, or the $30 GC to Rite-Aid. I think Smiths is more versatile, but $30 is pretty good. I'll have to think about it overnight.

I am surprised at how hard it is to not spend money. I am realizing I am a convenience shopper. For instance I bought the Christmas books because I don't foresee myself heading to Barnes & Noble again and I didn't want to make a special trip. But I should have checked to see if Costco carries the same series, because if they do and they are cheaper, I will be taking the ones from Barnes & Noble back. Which is an extra trip. Note to self, think things through. It's not like I won't be in the neighborhood in the next month. Observation noted.

I'm hoping by Tuesday or Wednesday M is eating again and a wider range of foods. I don't want to head to the store again. Which reminds me, I should mix up some milk tonight and put it out in the fridge in the garage. Or mix it into the 1/2 gallon we have left to stretch it and mask the taste a bit. I don't foresee needing anything else in the next week, so besides the prescriptions, I should be able to stay out of the store.

10 Day No Spending Challenge

2008-11-20T14:27:00.005-07:00

A few months ago a couple of blogs I like to read had a No Spending Challenge. I think it was for a month. Since I'm out of money for the month, I'm going to try my own version for the next 10 days.

What We Have
We have A LOT of food on hand. Really more than enough to last for a while. I may need to buy milk. I do have dry milk. Hmmm. I wonder if I could slide it past the boys. I'm going to give it a whirl.
M just had his tonsils out yesterday. The bill won't come for at least 30 days and then I can take 90 days to pay for it all. So nothing should be spent there. I bought his meds yesterday, so they don't count.
Z brought home 2 notes for the Thanksgiving feast on Tuesday. One says to bring a Sweet. The other says to bring a Meat. Not sure which one his teacher really wants, so I'm going with the Meat. I have a ton of pepperoni in the freezer. I'll send that.
Tonight is Bunco. Since I'm not hosting it's free for me.
M can't go out this weekend since he's not supposed to be around people for at least a week. So nothing should be spent.
I paid my car insurance this morning. I had the money saved in an ING sub account. So since it was saved especially for that purpose I'm not counting it.
We don't really have much planned for next week. I need to talk to my mom about Thanksgiving. I'm sure I will need to bring something. I just need to make sure it is something I already have on hand or can make from what we have.
We have 2 FREE coupons for 1 night rentals on RedBox DVDs. Good entertainment for a non-school night.

What I Don't Have
Saturday I have an appointment for some hair removal. I missed the last appointment so I don't really feel I can cancel. Cost $30.
I HAVE to get my oil changed. Soon. Like last month. I think it is usually about $25 at JiffyLube. I have a $10 off coupon. So $15.
I have one prescription that needs to be filled before the end of the month. It's $30 but if I fill it at Smiths I can get a $20 GC.
Z had a birthday party tomorrow. For a girl. I have no gifts stockpiled for girls. I usually spend about $15. If I buy it at Smith's I can use the GC. Cost $0. Love that!

What I'm Deferring
Our cat needs his vaccinations (again. Note: if you don't come back when they tell you to for the next set, you have to start over) so that I can get him fixed. Cat is growing himself quite a set of cajones. So $26 for the shots, $40 for the neuter. $66 to the Humane Society. This can't be deferred past December.
I owe on a library book. $20. I'm going to have to pay this if I want to check out books. But both my boys have cards we can use. I can reasonably defer this until January.
Christmas!
Paint-I am dying to paint my bedroom. We've been here 3 1/2 years and I still have a drab, flat white bedroom. I have the color picked out. And I'm ready to repaint M room a lighter color. So $30-$60 in paint. This, or course, can be deferred indefinitely. I'm thinking I may just ask my folks for cash for Christmas to redo my bedroom.
New Christmas decor. I really want some new stuff. We've had all the same stuff for about 10 years now. I'm going to wait until after Christmas to get some new ornaments on clearance.

What I'm Giving Up
My good friend is having a Girls Night Away this weekend at a hotel. The cost would be about $100. Just not going to happen.

So honestly, I'm in pretty good shape. I just have to do it! I'm actually excited.

This and That

2008-11-13T16:29:00.008-07:00

It's been awhile. I've been BUSY! So in no particular order here is a bit of this and that from my life.

Philadelphia-I took M to Philly with Nana and Pops to see Aunt L and Uncle Fancypants (aka S). The weather was great. We did the historical stuff the first day and then had the most fantastic banana split at the cutest old fashioned ice cream parlor. The second day we decided to take a double decker bus tour which I have found is a great way to see a lot of a city in a short amount of time. The two most interesting things we saw that day were the Eastern State Penitentiary and the National Geographic exhibit Real Pirates! at the Franklin Institute. Both very cool.

Day 3 was a daytrip to DC. So many cool things. The Smithsonian was amazing and would easily take a week to see everything. My favorite memorial was the Korean War Memorial. I thought it was all really cool though. By the time we returned my ears were actually tired from listening to M talk non-stop for 5 days straight. But we had a lot of fun and I'm glad we had a chance to do this together. And I always love to see L and S. I will be glad when they move back.

Halloween-Thank goodness it was on a Friday this year so it wasn't dragged out all week. What a marathon day though-parade, parties, trick or treat and another party. But they were surprisingly pleasant. Z was Indiana Jones and M was The Unknown Phantom. I am in shock at the amount of candy they brought home. I don't think I ever got that much.

Obama-Oh my hell I am so glad that Obama won. For the first time in a LONG time I don't feel like I'm looking around and wondering what the hell are you people thinking!!! When I watch him speak I am comforted by his calm demeanor, his obvious love for his wife and daughters, his quiet confidence, and his intellect. This is a man who GETS IT! Will life be rosy and wonderful just because he was elected? Obviously not. But having someone in office that is bright, articulate, understands our role in the world, diplomatic and positive is certainly a breath of fresh air. Now WE the American people will have to pay for the mistake of electing Bush and Cheney. It won't be easy, but we have a huge hole to dig ourselves out of. Obama understands that if we don't, our children have no future.

McCain-I didn't hate McCain. Really. A couple of years ago I even said that if another Republican were to be the next president, I hoped it would be him because I respected his integrity and agreed with many of his opinions. Then he decided he wanted to win the election at all costs and his integrity flew right out the window. Not only did he reverse many of his opinions to win the GOPs support, but he chose a VP that in essence is the opposite of everything he stood for, just to get the conservative vote. And the kind of negative campaign he ran against Obama was downright disgusting. Since he threw the inexperience card out the window with Palin, he had to resort to the old GOP favorite tactic, fear. Fortunately most level headed Americans saw it for what it was, desperation. But there are those that it struck a chord with and believe that Obama is a friend of terrorists, a socialist, and too foreign. And those people happen to be the whack jobs that scare me. Using fear as a weapon is the definition of terrorism. Scare people to get what you want. Truly disappointing.

Palin-Yuck. Snarky, bitchy, self-righteous, ignorant, ambitious, power hungy and pretty. A frightening combination. I really hope her 15 minutes are up.

Prop 8-Or as I like to say Prop H8te. It's discrimination pure and simple. You cannot deny a certain segment of the population the same rights that everyone else has. If I can marry whom I choose, then everyone should have the right to marry whomever they choose. You can't take away a gay person's right to procreate. So they already have families. Why not make it a stable, committed family with all the rights other families have? I don't understand why people don't get that. Somebody else's marraige doesn't change my marraige at all. Honestly I don't think it will be long before it is legal. Hopefully sooner than later.

Winter-Already hate it. I hate the decrease in light almost as much as I hate the cold. Sure, I like to snowboard. It's making a bad situation tolerable. But I could give that up with all the rest of winter. I don't need a white Christmas. I would easily give up sweater, sledding, hot cocoa, quilts and a fireplace. I'd rather surf, wear sandals, drink lemonade and soak up the warm, light giving, happy happy sun.

Weight-I'm down to what I thought was my goal. And so of course I've revised that goal and want to lose 5 more. But if I don't, that is OK too. I just don't want to gain it back during the holidays. Now I really need to tone up. I should go to Pilates. But I'm so weak!!! It hurts!! Which means I really need to go. I need new clothes but have no cash. Better than needing bigger clothes right?

Cat-Getting big. Totally psycho and cute at the same time.

Dog-Mellowing out finally. Still cute too.

Homework-Hate, hate, hate. I know they need to do it to learn. It's just such a pain in the butt to have to do it EVERY night. It's too much. It isn't good for household harmony.

Our house-We finally cut a "window" between the living room and kitchen. I love it. It feels very airy and bright now. We also added a door to the storage beneath the stairs making it far more accessable. Now I'm anxious to get the pantry done. And I'd like to paint my bedroom and a couple of the walls in M's room, and get new flooring in the kitchen, and many more projects that we have neither the time or funds for. Someday! I have been decluttering like crazy and organizing and I feel much better about our house now.

Finances-It's not great, but it could be worse. No Costa Rica this year. Such is life.

Twilight-I think Robert Pattinson is hot. I know a lot of women were a little disappointed. He doesn't look like the Edward I had in my mind, but he is pretty perfect. And he can sing too! Pretty dreamy I think. The hair is a little crazy, but we all go through our phases. Not sure I'll see the movie though. I don't want to change the way I think about the books.

So that is what I think about all of that! Agree, disagree, whatever. It's MY blog!

Girlfriend Weekend-Thanks Bitches!

2008-10-06T09:16:00.005-06:00

Each year the women in our mommy play group get together at my parent's cabin at Bear Lake. My sister was the brainchild of this event and I am so glad she thought of it. This year I took my turn at planning the weekend so I decided to invite some other Mommy's In Need of a Break. I only convinced one of the new invitees, Kari, to attend, and I'm so glad she did. She was a great addition to our group. This year our group was the largest yet, 12, which I was excited and worried about at the same time. No worries, it went swimmingly.
I was glad to ride up with Piper. She has been gone for 12 days and we hadn't had time to catch up since she'd been home. I did most the talking though because she has a nasty cold and not much of a voice. It was great to get all my Sara Palin bitching out!!
We stayed up LATE the first night laughing and telling stories. I won't repeat any of the hilarious stories and conversations, but OMG. I hang out with the funniest people!
The next day many of us slept in to catch up on much needed sleep. One of the things I love most about this weekend is the flexibility. Everyone is totally content to do their own thing and let everyone else do theirs. The weather decided we weren't going to have any beach time this year. It rained and rained and rained. Which was actually very peaceful and made the landscape really beautiful. Some brave souls headed out for a walk despite the downpour while the rest of us had a lazy morning of lounging and eating Sara and Mandy's delish breakfast of homemade zucchini bread and fresh fruit. Sooo good. Then our resident Pilates instructor Piper led us in an ab destroying, butt burning session. My abs are still groaning, I need to go to some of her classes on a regular basis. Lunch was a delish duo of salads by Piper (who, my son Myles will gratuitously tell random people, is a FANTASTIC chef). The afternoon consisted of napping, reading, scrapbooking, snacking, and, of course, more wonderful conversation. Piper, Sara, Kelli and I played a round of Balderdash. I'm good at writing false definitions, and I won, but I must say I suck royally at the strategic aspect of the game. I lost track of the times Piper rolled her eyes at me! LOL. It was really fun. And I don't usually love games.
Kari gave me the most fabulous session of acupressure. I learned that the reason I am always so stiff and knotted on the right side is that is is my masculine side, which is your doing, logical, practical side. Apparently, I'm not as comfortable, or confident with that aspect of myself, so I strain and end up holding on to the tension in my neck and back on the right side. When she told me that I knew she was absolutely correct and impressed with her intuition.
For dinner we had Keri's and Patrice's fantastic dinner of enchiladas and spanish rice. Oh how I love good food. Thank goodness there was no shortage of that! We stayed up to talk some more and watched the Sex in the City movie. I never got into the series, so I'm sure I missed a lot of the details and connections, but I still enjoyed it. Made me realize that I don't want to be Miranda. I need to pay more attention to my man. I stayed up to read a bit because I am totally and embarassingly addicted to the Twilight books. One word, Edward. 'Nuff said.
Sunday was a spectacular day, overcast and breezy with crisp, sweet air. The lake was deep blue and sparkled. If I knew I had one month to live, I'd just head right up to Bear Lake. It is far and away my favorite place on earth. More home to me than my parent's house. My happy place.
Piper headed out early for a social obligation. The rest of us ate my breakfast, that Sara so generously prepared for me because I couldn't get my lazy ass out of bed. Cinnamon Apple Oven Pancake. It was good. Then more of the same wonderful easy going lounging around. Lunch was Angie's Sweet potato Sausage Leek casserole. My mom started making this for Thanksgiving instead of the usual candied sweet potatoes (which none of us liked ) when I was teenage. Even my husband, who doesn't love sweet potatoes, agrees it is fabulous. Poor Jenny made a huge pot of soup, got distracted and had to throw it out because it scorched. Poor us too. I love her soup.
Ang decided to leave early and once she started packing up, everyone else did too. I wasn't at all ready to come home, but we cleaned up and took off about 3. I really enjoyed the ride home with Jaymison, Jenny and Kari. When I got home the fam damily wasn't here, and I decided to take advantage of the peace for as long as it lasted.
Then, in door came my two balls of energy. I'm so glad they were as happy to see me as I was them. R did a fantastic job this weekend. House clean, meals made, snowbird season pass pictures taken, sleep schedule maintained, playdates with friends, and happy kids on top of all that. Maybe he should be the stay at home parent. He really did do a great job. I'm a lucky woman.
Such a great weekend. I look forward to it all year and I can't believe it flew by so fast. I wish we could go up for a week! I don't know what I am going to do when Z starts 1st grade and I don't have a kid to take to play group. Seriously, I don't know what I will do without my weekly social hour. I have such great friends!!

Fun with Childhood illnesses

2008-09-20T09:15:00.004-06:00

Two weeks ago Friday, M went to the pediatrician for his well-child check. All good except that his tonsils are huge. They always have been but this time his ped wanted him to go see an ENT to look at them. Since our deductible is HUGE, I put it off.

Two weeks ago Sataurday, Z came down with an obvious classic case of strep. Fever. Sore throat. Big nap on a Saturday. So down to the express care for a culture and a course of amoxicillan.

I kept waiting for M to get it because he always does when it's going around. But two weeks pass and I began to think we had managed to dodge it this time. I finally schedule an appointment with the ENT for Friday (yesterday) because M has been stuffy, but not obviously sick, for about a month. I figured it was allergies (praying it's dust and pollan and not the cat), but since he needed to have his tonsils checked out anyway, I figured I'd just bite the bullet and get it all checked out.

Thursday M wakes up and says "My throat feels weird". I ask if it hurts-no, not really. Does it hurt when you swallow? No, just feels weird. I take his temp-normal. He eats breakfast and heads to school. About 11:30 I get a call because he forgot his library book. I ask if his throat still feels weird. Yep, but it doesn't hurt. I make the executive decision to pull him out of school and go get him tested for strep. I check the back of his throat, bright red and patchy. Another trip to the express care, another positive culture, another round of amoxicillan. And to top it off, two ear infections brewing. Nice. And all he says is his throat feels weird.

Dr. says he's fine for school the next day, so off he goes. But today he's added a major gooey nose. I pick him up early and head to the ENT. He takes one look at his tonsils and says, schedule the surgery, sooner than later. Not only will it help him not get strep 2-3 times every year, but he should sleep a whole lot better and that should help his anxiety level come down a bit. And by the way, he has chronic sinitis, not allergies, which the amoxicillan won't touch. So another trip to the pharmacy, a new antibiotic, and I've dropped over $200 on strep throat this month. Ouch!

So I'm trying to figure out the best time to take little Einstein out of school for 10 days. He was initially freaking out about the idea of surgery, but the promise of 10 days of no school, TV, Playstation and ice cream seems to have comforted him quite a bit. Plus a friend at school told him that it really wasn't that bad. I'm thinking the week before Thanksgiving because those two weeks are a joke anyway with all the short days and days off.

I don't even want to know what the surgery will cost. We may actually meet our deductible this year. At least it's tax deductible, right?

Discipline

2008-09-08T17:23:00.003-06:00

So R and I have decided that we really do need to be on the same page for discipline at our house. M has gotten quite mouthy and argumentative. Z is more passive-agressive and just ignores me and does whatever he wants anyway. He's also very sneaky and prone to lying a bit. When it comes to discipline, I'm the softy, the slacker. I just want peace. R is the toughy, the yeller. He doesn't want to be embarassed or inconvenienced. One day M told us that he wished we were more like his teacher from last year, Mrs. Jones. He felt like she was strict, but nice. Firm, but fair. Well, there's nothing like your kid telling you to get your act together.

We have picked the book "How to Behave So Your Kids Will Too" by Sal Severe. What an awesome book. Exactly the mix between giving kid's power and responsibility relative to their age and actions, and the parent's having the authority that is needed in a family. We have started some of the recommendations immediately while we work through the book together.

Yesterday was our first day with our new time-out rules. It was so unbelievable difficult to stay committed when your child is in total meltdown. But we did, and the difference it is already making is pretty unbelievable. M only needed one time-out, but it took a long time for him to stop arguing and muttering so that we could actually start the time. Z also had an extremely long time-out because he wouldn't stay put. But we made it through.

The rest of the day M was rather quiet, which always worries me. But he was also amazingly compliant and cooperative. We went for a hike in the afternoon, which he usually will complain about before, during and after. Yesterday he actually enjoyed the hike, and told us so several times. At the end we realized we had locked our keys in the car. R was grumpy and short for a few minutes. M just played quietly while we waited for the locksmith to unlock the car. Before bed we talked and worked out any lingering bad feelings. He also mentioned he thought he handled the locked car more maturely than R. I laughed and had to agree. He felt really proud of himself. He fell right asleep. Today he asked me to please help him work through an argument with Z. Amazing!

Z is still testing to see if we are serious. We had another time-out today that took about 20 minutes total. He just won't stop trying to get "one more chance". But I have also given him several warnings today that he is headed towards a bad decision, and he has quickly corrected his behavior. He's pretty bull-headed, so it may take a little longer with him.

All in all, we have had two really pleasant days. I haven't had to yell or threaten or feel upset that I'm being ignored. The boys are playing together well and doing what they are asked to do with minimal protest. I am really excited about the book and the progress. Now I just have to stay consistent, which is always the hard part for me. But it helps to have R on board and the two of us working toward the same goal.

School has Started!!!

2008-08-27T11:50:00.005-06:00

Well, Summer is over. It's official and I'm having mixed feelings.

M started back Monday. He likes his teacher so far. He isn't too stoked on who is in his class this year, but is old enough to realize that it doesn't change who he chooses to play with at recess. I peeked in yesterday and they were doing yoga after working on their reading. His teacher is an old hippie. I think we are going to get a long just fine. He is walking most of the way with some friends which makes him feel so grown up and simplifies mornings. And dad can leave for work whenever he wants without making us all crazy because he doesn't want to be late. But homework, oh the dreaded homework. Finishing his Summer Math packet was P-U-R-E H-E-L-L!!!! I have rarely disliked my own child sooo much. I'm positive the sentiment was exactly the same on his end. NOT FUN! But it's done. And so, I have instituted a few new rules at our house. I hate rules, because I have to enforce them, and because I hate following them myself. But sometimes I see the necessary in their evil. So #1 No TV or Playstation until after homework. I'm not going to nag, but it's his choice to miss those activities if he procrastinates all day and evening. And #2 We are going to do something each day even if he doesn't have an assignment due. We are renaming homework time, enrichment time instead. So at a minimum he needs to go over his math flashcards with me once and read for 20 minutes and practice his handwriting for 10 minutes. Did he love that yesterday. Oh, no. No he did not. But he did it. And I think he'll get used to it. My goal for him this year is to learn to work, and perservere, and quit being a lazy, whiny, you know what.

Poor Z, he doesn't start for a week. And he has decided he is ready! He asks everyday if today is finally the day. We had a picnic in the park with his classmates yesterday and his new teacher. It was great. His teacher is really just the most perfect Kindergarten teacher ever. I am really excited for him. I'm sure I'll tear up on his first day, but for now, I can't wait for him to go too.

I have volunteered to be copy mom and assignment correcter in M class. For Z I am doing Junior Achievement once a month. I am also considering being the assistant Den Mother for cub scouts. Am I crazy? Obviously, but I think I need to be more involved. So we will see how that goes.

R mentioned hiring someone to do what I've been doing at work with him. Sounds kind of nice, but I hate to pay someone to do it when I am perfectly capable and can find the time. Not sure if he was serious, but I may take him up on it.

M and I are going to visit L and S in Philly at the end of the month. I'm really excited. I'm trying to figure out how long I can leave R with Z without it being really hard, and how long we need to go to see everything I'd like to while we are there. It promises to be interesting, that is for sure.

Things I Hate

2008-08-19T09:08:00.006-06:00

Not sure why, but I'm just in the mood to talk about a few things I hate. Not that I'm in a grumpy mood, I'm not. More a pensive mood, a mood of self-discovery and a mood that feels like sharing this self-discovery with all of cyber-space (a bit self-important, I know). Lucky readers, here are a few things I hate, in no particular order:

1. Negative, viral campaign e-mails. It's just lying, spreading rumors and gossip. How is this OK, especially by those who consider themselves the Religious Right or The Keepers of Good Values? I haven't been to church in a while, but I'm pretty sure there are commandments and such about that shiz.

2. Raw onions. They are just so wrong. I can do an onion-ring. I can do carmelized. I can do french onion soup. Love roasted veggies including onion. Hate, hate, hate finding a raw onion in a salad of any type (green, pasta, and especially hard to find in potato salad). And don't get me started on those little nasty ass bits of disgustingness they try to pass for onion on McDonalds cheeseburgers. I think those actually started my hate-affair with onions as a child.

3. The phone. OK, hate may be a little strong. But I really don't love to answer the phone. I know it's necessary, and I do like to stay in the loop. But there is little I dislike more than being in the middle of, oh just about anything, and hearing the phone ring. The problem, who is sitting around doing nothing waiting for the phone to ring? And calling people, almost borders on a phobia for me. Yay, facebook! I am working on both, I promise y'all. I actually got rid of caller ID so that curiousity gets the better of me and I answer. But I WILL NOT run for the phone. I have issues, I am aware.

4. KSL talk radio and people who think that because someone said it on the radio, it must be true and EVERYONE feels that way. Makes me want to FREAK OUT!!! 'Nuff said.

5. Country music. Well, more like 95% of country music. It just couldn't be any more cliched, trite and overly sentimental. Who honestly likes to go around feeling mushy all the time? I guess it just makes me feel manipulated into feeling whatever it is they are going for, and I hate overt manipulation. Every so often I catch M in his room listening to country and I know it's when he's just feeling sad and wants to wallow in his poor, sorry, 8 year old life. Which is probably why people listen to country music in the first place. I guess I'm just not a fan of wallowing. I thank my mother for passing along this trait (though I certainly didn't enjoy it at 13, and I know my fam damily doesn't always appreciate it either. Tough!).

6. The ticket redemption prize counter at any arcade. Makes me want to PULL MY HAIR OUT! If that was the last job on earth, I would starve. Truly. I so admire a little old man who works behind the counter at the arcade in the Eureka in Mesquite Nevada. He asked my kids how many tickets they had, looked like he was thinking long and hard, and suggested what he thought must surely be the perfect prize for each kid that, amazingly enough, used up almost all their tickets. Then he would round up how many they still had by a few and give them another prize. Wham bam, done! And my kids just thought he was like Santa, picking out such great prizes. I knew he had just learned to get them in, and out! Oh, so wise.

7. Taking my darlings to the grocery store, especially together. Oh the fighting, the whining, the running around, the whacking, the obnoxiousness. For some reason, at the grocery store, or even more so, IKEA (whose damn kinderland is ALWAYS full), turns them into the most rotten version of themselves possible. One kid, a doable trip. Both kids, not unless it is a major emergency. We will eat canned soup for days before I will take them both.

8. Nagging. I hate to nag and I hate to be nagged. My husband (whom I love dearly, don't get me wrong) is SUCH A NAG!! "Hurry-up! We're going to be late!", "Chew with your mouth closed, you sound like a cow", "Quit rocking that chair", "You know you want to wakeboard, why don't you just try. Come-on, I know you'll like it", and my particular favorite, "You're going to stay on budget this month, right?" asked almost daily. Makes me crazy. I don't think of myself as a nag, but I'm sure the boys would tell you differently. Mostly I nag when I can tell my dear husband is thinking things should be happening differently. Then I get all anxious about him freaking out, and I start to nag. So I'm going to blame it all on R. And the boys are certainly learning how to really lock-in for a good nag fest if they really think they can wear me down. Which unfortunately, sometimes they can, because I'm a sucker, if you must know the truth.

9. Pokemon and Yu-gi Oh! cards. I don't get it, I don't want to get it, I don't want to hear about it, I don't want to look at your cards, I don't want to hear about your amazing trade, I don't want to listen to your teacher bitch about you playing with them when you should be listening, I don't want to pick them up, I don't want to pay the ridiculous amount they cost, I don't want to hear you fighting with your brother about whose is whose. I don't want anything to do with them. They are dumb, please grow out of them.

10. The end of Summer. I always have such high hopes. It just doesn't last long enough to get everything done that I'd like to do. I worry as much as the kids do at the beginning of the school year about who their teacher is, and will it be a good match? How will the homework be? Which activities should we do? Summer is just so much easier. The kids can sleep as long as they need to. There is no rushing home in the evening to get them to bed by 8 o'clock. No homework or projects, just read whatever you want. Dinner when it happens. Outside play. I'd rather do yardwork than housework any day of the week. It just feels so sad when it's over. Bring on responsibility. Bring on the work. Bring on the cold and being stuck in the dumb house. Just sad. I wonder if people who live in San Diego feel this way.

11. People who live by the book. Always. Can't be logical. No commonsense. Must follow the rules. For instance, I took my 1999 Subaru to have the Safety and Emmisions test so I can register it, cuz it's 18 days late I already got myself out of one ticket. I took it to the same place I went last year. This year they won't pass the safety because the tint on the back window is over the brake light in that window, because it is on the inside of the hatchback door. Okkaayyy, but I've had this car for 9 years and this hasn't been a problem before, not even last year, at the same place. Supposedly the UHP is "really cracking down" on this monumental safety issue, except that I've never been pulled over for that, and when I did it was because MY CAR WASN'T REGISTERED! Not because I have tint in my windows that isn't very dark that covers an optional light that my car has had for 9 years!!! Sorry, that's the rule, you can razor blade around the light and scrape the tint off, it shouldn't look too shitty. Thanks dude, you're super neat.

12. People who write anonymous letters or call the cops. Just have the balls to ring my doorbell and talk to me about whatever it is that is making your ass twitch. My dog barking? Good to know! I'll make sure he's inside when we leave. Party too loud, we'll tone it down. Don't like the color I painted my front door? Bugger off, you don't have a say in my decorating decisions. Is it possible for an anonymous letter to be taken objectively? I don't think so, I think it puts people on the defensively instantly. And a visit from "the man"? Just gonna piss me off.

13. Stepping on a lego or matchbox car in the dark. Well I hate it in the light too now that I think about it. Those little buggers are sharp. Hate to admit it, but when one of the monkeys stepped on one and had quite a little gash, I secretly felt a little glad. See!?! It effin' hurts, huh! How about we pick them up when we are done playing? I don't feel one bit bad when they "accidentally" get vacuumed up. Accidents happen. It's a cold, cruel world.

14. Hornets, wasps, yellow-jackets and species of their ilk. I think they are taking over the world. I try to be an "organic" type and not use much in the way of chemicals. I don't kill spiders, I just put them outside. But those rotten, ever-present, stinging pests, I don't mind spraying with instantly deadly neurotoxin. Not one little bit. It's all I can do to stop myself from yelling, "die Mother F-er, die!". But I just say it in my head. Usually.

and to end this little love, er hate (love to hate?) fest...

15. Hummers, the 80's band Midnight Oil, Juniper bushes, kids not sleeping in the own bed, kid's fighting all the time, unexpected expenses, those naked lady mudflaps and calvin peeing on stuff window decals, fake apologies, morning radio, myrtle spurge, "clever" news reporter banter, commercials, spam, health insurance (or the lack thereof), people that refuse to recycle, olympic judges that do a crappy job, getting older and saggier, when people want to talk while I'm obviously reading and can't possibly do both at the same time, when R wants to go to bed at 8 o'clock, not being able to go on vacation, Miley Cyrus (she just bugs!), and cantaloupe.

Well there. I hope you enjoyed my venomous spewing as much as I did. I feels GREAT to get all that off my chest. Have a fantastic day!

Distance Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

2008-08-11T11:18:00.003-06:00

It's true.

R is at his annual guy's golf tournament this weekend in Mesquite. Since his mom lives in Mesquite, it makes sense for him to drive the boys down with him and drop them off for some quality time with grandma J. Last year they both went. I honestly didn't know what to do with myself for 4 whole days! This year, Z didn't want to go. He's been quite a homebody lately. I think he's worried about going to Kindergarten. So it has just been the two of us.

Friday night we drive up to Bear Lake with my good friend and her 3 year old boy. It was very quiet up there this weekend, none of my siblings went, so we just hung out with my parents. It was a nice time. Our boys decided to act like big brother-little brother towards the end, bugging each other just to hear the other scream. Boys will be boys.

Today and tomorrow it's just the two of us (and the creatures, of course). I think today we will go see Wall-e and get a treat of some sort. We slept in, cuddled for a long time, & played 2 games of Candyland, which he won both times ;). It's great to have a chance to talk and be together without someone else competing for attention. Tomorrow he has summer camp, so today is play day.

As much as I'm enjoying some quiet, non-fighting, time with my Z-man, I will be glad to have M home. I miss his chatter, his morning cuddles, his deep thoughts, and his help around the house. While I know that his grandparents are spoiling him rotten and taking good care of him, I worry when I'm not there. I guess it's a loss of control and a surrender of one of my most precious people to the care of someone else. And I always worry about my boys when they are on the road.

R is working so hard these days, and I so often go to Bear Lake without him, that I didn't really start to miss him until last night. We spent a few hours with our awesome neighbors and their visiting extended family. I had a great time, but more than once I wished R was there to enjoy it with me. And going to bed alone (if you consider sleeping with a kid, a cat and a dog alone) is always hard for me. I just don't sleep well without R. Sometimes I take for granted what he does around the house. I almost missed garbage pickup this morning!

It's good to have a break from each other sometimes and to have seperate experiences. R is having some much needed guy time, and some much needed time away from work to have fun. M gets to experience being the center of attention and bonding with his grandma, who is sorely missed since she moved. He gets to drive down and back with dad. Who knows, maybe he'll even miss his little bro (yeah, right). Z gets to have the whole house to himself for a few days, some quality time with mom before school starts, and total access to the new kitty (poor cat). I get some room to think and time to enjoy my youngest child before he starts into the big world of elementary school (which I must admit is kind of freaking me out). All in all, good experiences for everyone. Nice for a few days...

But I can't wait until they are home!

Wrapping Things Up and Preparing to Get Started

2008-08-06T07:45:00.007-06:00

August is one of those months where I feel pulled in two directions. As the last month of Summer I feel it is my duty to squeeze every last minute of the chance to be carefree. I want to swim, hike, travel and lounge as much as possible. We still haven't gone to Raging Waters, Boondocks, Antelope Island (the one thing I want to do this year because I have never been), a baseball game. Every year I think Summer gets shorter and shorter. I don't want it to end. I'm NOT ready to send my kids back to school. I feel like the grasshopper, I'll prepare for Winter tomorrow, I want to play today!

This is a great time to make a list of what you still want to accomplish and do this Summer. It's also a fanatastic time to take stock of what is working this Summer, and what you would like to change for next year. I personally think we have been too planned out this Summer with camps and sports. We haven't had enough to chill and just play. Next year I am thinking we may not do summercamp every week, and just pick one or two weeks that we think look fun. Or I may stick with the Winner School but just do 2 days a week. Or a combo or both. Or we may not do it all. I can work from home and we can go do all the fun stuff they do at camp (maybe not the most realistic option, I'm not much of a crafter). Nothing has to be decided right now, it's just a good time to think about it and ask the kids how they think this Summer has gone and what they would change.

At the same time I know I have to start getting ready for school and Winter. It's time to begin harvesting my garden and preserving the excess for later. Planning Fall yard projects. What needs to be done before it gets cold or snows? There are back to school clothing inventories to do, shoes to buy,school supplies to stock-up on backpacks to pick-out. Is there a particular type of clothing or shoes that they feel the just have to have? I need to find out now so I can scope out sales. It's time to start getting the kids back on a more school friendly schedule, earlier to bed, earlier to rise. To start talking about what to expect from this school year. Will there be more homework this year? Times tables and cursive? What about the Kindergartener who needs some extra reassurance about going to school? Are the kids old enough to walk by themselves? Do they want to take school lunch? It's time to think about what may be new and stressful, and start talking about it now.

It's time to start thinking about the upcoming holidays. What should we do over Fall Recess? Do we have any idea what we'd like to be for Halloween and can we start pulling together a costume? Are we traveling for Thanksgiving and need to start looking into airfare or lodging? Or staying home? And it is never to late to start thinking about Christmas. Incidentally, this is a great time to stock-up on art supplies to use as gifts all year round. What kid doesn't love an art kit with brand new fresh crayons, paints, markers and pencils? Great for Christmas as well as birthday parties. And when buying Back-to School clothing, I plan to pick-up a few extra cool T-shirts and sweatshirts, while they are on sale, as gifts for Christmas as well. And why not peruse the clearance rack for clothes for next Summer? It's a great time to grab flip-flops, swimsuits, beach towels, and shorts. Think ahead, who do you know that is pregnant or just had a baby? Can you find any cute summer baby clothes at a huge discount? What about lawn and garden-it's all on clearance now.

This year, I must admit, I didn't really budget to stock-up for next year. I'm trying to decide if I should grab a little from the emergency fund to do so with the plan of replenishing as quickly as possible. In the long run it will save us money. But I hate to see the balance going down.

Today I am going to take a minute to make my Summer list of things we want to do before school starts, ways to maximize these last few days of freedom and schedule a time to do it. Over the next few days I'm going to make a list of what I can do now, bit by bit so as not to canniblize our summer, to prepare for the upcoming months. I'm not going to use up our time running from store to store to stock up. But while we are there, I will certainly stock-up on what is on sale. I'm also going to see what I can do on-line to save time. Most importantly, I'm just going to relax and enjoy the last golden days of Summer!

Surviving a Recession and Saving the Planet

2008-08-05T11:43:00.002-06:00

Today in my Treehugger.com e-mail there was an article originally posted on http://www.thesimpledollar.com (one of my fave blogs incidentally) showing how many of the things we can do to be secure financially are also sustainable environmental tactics. I also find that most are beneficial to our health as well.

They are:

1. Start a garden. This a pretty simple way to cut costs on fruits and veggies. There is also less cost in the form of shipping and I personally feel much better when I know what exactly is in, or has been sprayed on my food.

2. Learn how to make as many meals as possible from simple ingredients. It is generally cheaper to make food from scratch than it is to buy food that has been packaged, advertised and shipped. And once again, you know exactly what is in you food, no preservatives and artifical crap. Even for the few items that might be cheaper to by packaged, such as boxed macaroni & cheese, the health cost savings from eating real food, made from real ingredients is worth it in the long run. Environmentally, less packaging is always a good thing.

3. Drink tap water as your beverage of choice. This one is pretty obvious. Less packaging, fewer calories, and it's FREE.

4. Drill your own well. Totally not possible for most people, but if you live in a rural area it is a free source of water.

5. Reduce home energy use. We are working on this. We have a programmable thermostat and are keeping the AC set at 80 all the time. In the evenings we open the doors for the cross breeze. We plan to install ceiling fans as well to help it feel a little cooler. I close the blinds all day to keep the heat out. The boys are pretty good about turning off light and the TV. Myles has made it his own little mission to turn off the powerstrip on the TV and accessories downstairs each night. In the winter we've been keeping the heat at 72 during the day and 60 at night.

6. Invest in solar panels or a small wind turbine. This is something I'd really like to look into. Our neighbors recently had solar panels installed and it got me thinking about it seriously. So many people resist the idea saying that it doesn't cover all their energy needs. But I figure every little bit helps. I'd like to figure out how long it would take to pay for itself.

7. Drive less, walk and bike more, carpool and carshare. All excellent ways to skip the heart attack at the pump these days. Less pollution in the air is always a plus. And all the exercise is another fabulous way to stay healthy. My goal this year is to walk the kids to and from school most of the time.

8. Buy a more fuel efficient vehicle. Obviously this depends on a few factors. If your car is paid off and you would require a car payment to get into a new vehicle, it may not be the best financial move. But if your are in the market for a new car, think high gas mileage. Saves money, cleaner air. Win-win.

9. Buy plenty of forever stamps. As gas costs increase, the price of stamps is only headed up. With forever stamps you are guaranteed today's price 5 years from now. Even at a few cents per stamp, it's just plain smart.

10. Learn to entertain yourself with open ended materials. This is great advice for adults and especially to teach our kids. Card games, board games, reading books from the library, running, hiking, etc. are all activites that really don't get more expensive over time. Free entertainment equals more money in your pocket. It also means a better qualitiy of life, and most have a small carbon footprint as well.

So, something to think about. Most of these a relatively easy and don't require much of an upfront financial investment. I'm always looking for ways to cut back, simplify, teach my kids some skills, and do my part to clean up our planet. These steps give me lots of ideas and plenty of concrete things to work on.

New creature in our house-Welcome Freddie!

2008-08-03T11:55:00.006-06:00

We have a new kitty. His name is Mr. Freddie Kung-Fu Kitty Miyagi. Freddie for short. He is so sweet and good natured. Here's a look-see. Isn't he cute?

Did we want a new cat? Well, yes and no. I've been thinking about it for awhile now, but also have been putting it off because of the added responsibility and the added cost. R really didn't want more of either. But R's cousin ended up with a stray who, SURPRISE, had kittens. So she brought one to Z when Granny had him on Thursday. He'd already had the kitten for 4 hours and named it Freddie by the time I picked him up. Granny, that sneaky, I mean wise woman told me she had told R we were getting him when he dropped Z off. She failed to, I mean forgot to mention he said "NO WAY". Well The Boys are thrilled and are really happy and loving the attention a new baby pet brings. Z already showed his summercamp class, who were besides themselves with baby animal love. And I have to admit I am quite smitten with him myself. Nothing better than a kitty cuddle and purr. R may take a little longer, but with him it always does. He isn't one to give away his heart easily (some day I will tell the story of our very stretched out courting process) and that's OK, though I don't know how you can resist that little face.

Our dog is a little concerned about a creature moving in and us actually liking it. But he does really well, just a little whining, lots of puzzled looks and some dejected sighing. The cat has been pretty mellow as well. A few small hisses and sideways jumps. They both slept on the bed with us most of last night, so I think we'll be fine.

The kids (read: I suspect Z) have loved him maybe just a little too much, however, and he seems to be limping quite a bit. So Monday will be our first vet visit, which of course makes my very fiscally responsible husband soooo happy. I hope it doesn't require X-rays and stuff. We would have had to take him for an initial visit anyway. And I've always figured once to bring a pet home they are family, and you can't skimp on healthcare for family. I'm secretly hoping he'll wake up tomorrow much improved. We'll see.

Gardening-I love it!

2008-08-03T11:40:00.005-06:00

So I decided this year I was definitely going to have a garden, so I planted lots of tomatoes, herbs, peppers and a few zucchini in pots and tucked a few into the flower beds as well. I'd like to say it's going fantastic, but it is just going OK. I have some jalapenos, 1 bell pepper, a few zukes, a few of each type of tomato I planted plus a ton of cherry tomatoes. The funny thing is that I used organic gardening soil in all but the cherry tomatoes. I just threw those into a barrel style planter that was already in the back yard. But I still have high hopes. I have scoped out my sight for a permanent garden in the backyard. I just need to muster up the fortitude to till it up and amend the soil. It's pretty rocky and acidic because it had juniper bushes growing there up until this spring. It's perfect spot, gets enough sun, and is by the hose spigot so I can hook up a soaker hose. I really just need to get on it so that I can plant some fall crops.

Anyway, here is a pic of my current set-up. It's early morning so it is still shady.

And my first beautifirous tomato!

I have lots of dreams about canning and preserving. We'll see how that goes though. August is shaping up to be a crazy month.

The not so Simple Family V

2008-07-19T13:41:00.005-06:00

So I'm a huge believer in unstructured playtime for kids and not over scheduling them. When I read books and magazine articles about how crazy kid's schedules are these days and how parents need to pull back a bit I find myself nodding and agreeing completely.

And then I took a look at our schedule. And I'm so full of crap.

Every summer I freak about trying to keep my kids entertained, happy and our home reasonable peaceful. In addition, I've got to keep up the marketing side of our business which requires about 15 hours a week. So I sign them up for summer camp. I love their summer camp, I truly do. They do fieldtrips, cooking, science experiments, drama, karate, art, and all other fun things. Plus I figure my kids will get to see friends their own age on a regular basis without having to be with each other, because, I hate to admit, my kids fight, a lot. They seem to like it, and on the days they don't go, they are bored and can't find other kids that can play and it is a constant battle to keep the TV, computer, Playstation, Gameboy, etc. off. And wouldn't most kids really rather go to the waterpark with other kids instead of mom and brother? So they go 3 days a week, Tuesday, Wednesday and Fridays from 10-4. They were also going on Mondays but we decided to drop it in July and August so that they could play at home a little more and we could save a little money.

Then there is the once a week visit to Granny that they have both been doing their whole lives. They go spend an afternoon with R's grandma, who has lived alone for 28 years. She is the most amazing woman and my kids adore her. They go from 2-5 on Thursdays.

Then there is karate. M begged from the time he was 5 until we finally signed up at almost 7 to take karate. He loves it and would rather do that than anything else. So of course we just signed Z up as well. This is Tuesday and Thursday nights with Z's class at 5:30-6:15 and M from 6:15-7:45. Hard to find time for dinner on these nights. On Tuesdays I pick them up from summer camp at 4, we go to the library (because it doesn't make sense to drive all the way home for an hour) until 5, change into karate clothes, grab a snack and head back for karate (they take from the same place they go to summer camp). On Thursdays I pick them up from Granny's at 5, get changed and head over. Not much time for a family dinner so we eat on the run. I HATE THIS.

Then Z decides he really wants to play baseball. OK, I figure, he gets to try stuff out and decide what he likes too. So we sign up for the summer league and the games are at 7 on Mondays and Wednesdays. M decides as long as he is there he may as well play too. I'm glad the games are at 7 because we at least have a chance to go home after summer camp and have a meal before the game.

So basically we have something every single evening and most days. Add on top of that the golf lessons M took at the beginning of the summer from 8:30am-9:30am for a week, the swim lessons we should be taking, playdates, sleepovers, vacations, going to Bear Lake on the weekends or swimming at Grandpa's pool and hanging out with friends for BBQ's and we have gotten CRAZY busy. And I just can't take it anymore!!! Nevermind the money we are shelling out for all the stuff.

So, I am taking a good hard look at all of it. What should stay, what goes?

Well, first goes Z's karate. He complains every single time that he doesn't want to go. Once he gets there he is fine, but I don't really think he is getting it. I think it is a little past his mental capacity right now. I asked if he wanted to quit until he is 7 years old and he was delighted to give it up. So now on Tuesdays and Thursdays we have bought enough time to actually eat dinner at home. Amazing what 45 minutes can do. This will also save me $80 a month.

Next in line, we aren't going to take swim lessons this summer. I am a firm believer in swim lessons, but we swim often and one summer off won't ruin them for life. M is totally competent in the water, he just can't really dive and doesn't have pretty strokes. Z is getting to where he can put his head in the water and get to where he wants to be. Because we are taking this summer off, next summer, lessons will be a top priority. This doesn't actually free anything up at this point except a load off my mind. And that's worth it.

When baseball ends, Z will play soccer and M will do karate. This will put them at 1 sports activity each. That I can live with. With the school year there will be a whole new set of activities to decide about. Cub scouts, chess club, science club, spanish lessons. I'm thinking M can choose 1. Z doesn't need to be doing any of them at this point.

At some point I'd also like them to do music lessons of some sort. The only thing Z has ever asked to do is take drum lessons. When he is 7 I think we will definitely look into this. M has expressed some interest in the electric guitar. This may also be a possibility coming up.

Will we do summer camp again next year. I'm not sure. It's expensive, but it keeps them busy in a constructive way for a few days a week. I could do a few weeks of camp instead at places like the zoo, natural history museum etc. But the simplicity of going to same place, with the same system is very appealing to me. Or they could just stay home and we could save the money and see how our sanity holds up. Not sure yet.

The other decision I've made is not to be so rigid about making it every single time to all these activities. If we miss a few days of camp, karate and a game of baseball to go to Bear Lake, oh well. Sure we are wasting money, but it's been paid already anyway. I'm just going with the flow, keeping our options open. Mentally this has made me feel a million times less stressed.

I have a feeling as the boys get older we will have to do this rethinking exercise often, probably about once a quarter to avoid getting to busy again. While I think part of being a good parent involves exposing your children to lots of things so they can find what they like, it's also making sure there is lots of time to just be. To be bored a little and then find something to do. There are so many opportunities for them, too many for them to EVER be able to do them all. Like everything else in life, it's a balancing act. Karate lessons one evening, hanging out at home with the family the next. Summercamp today, a playdate tomorrow, nobody to play with but your brother the next day. It's all good.

The Alphabet of G

2008-07-08T08:49:00.003-06:00

So today I thought I'd do a meme. Just a little more info about me. I saw the idea on another blog and it piqued my interest. So here goes.

A is for age. 35.
B is for books I'm reading. Currently I'm reading Anna Karenina, Taking Back Childhood and Expecting Adam.
C is for car. I drive a '99 Subaru Forester, white, with lots of stickers. For my next car I'm thinking...another Subaru Forester. I love my car.
D is for dog. 1 male 2 year old lab/australian shepard named Pepe . He's finally getting to be a very good dog.
E is for exercise. I've been walking an hour every other morning in the hills around our house with Pepe, running for 30 minutes every other morning and another walk most evenings for around 20 minutes or so.
F is for fave TV show. I don't have one. I don't watch much TV. I guess I like to catch Oprah on occasion.
G is for groceries. I actually like to shop if I'm alone. If I'm with the monkeys, I honestly HATE it. Weekly essentials are yogurt, bananas, milk, bread, beer, honey nut cheerios and apples. I spend way too much and I'm trying to cut my average while sticking with my philosophy of buying local and organic as much as possible. I belong to a CSA which helps.
H is for husband. Mine is named R, he's 38, a realtor, loves to mountain bike, is a stress case, a former professional snowboarder and is very handsome.
I is for ice cream. I can't really eat it. It makes me very very ill if I eat more than just a little. I don't know why because I don't have a problem with dairy. But I love cookie dough.
J is for job. Well I guess I'm a realtor, but I only work a few hours a week helping R with the business. I consider being a stay at home mom my real job. I keep thinking I may get a part time job at REI or something. I did work for Novell as an auditor for 5 years before staying home with the monkeys.
K is for kids. Two. M is 8, Z is 5. That's plenty for me.
L is for lipstick. Mica from L'oreal. Worn it since Jr. High.
M is for marriage. September will mark 12 years. It has gone by pretty fast.
N is for number of piercings. I've had six. Four in one ear and two in the other. 2 have closed leaving two in each ear.
O is for optometry. Contacts and glasses. I'm really blind and would LOVE to have lasik.
P is for peeps. R and I have a fabulous group of friends. We hang a lot and I really love them all.
Q is for quiet time. For me that is a bath with a book. I'm cutting back to save water, but I LOVE me a long bath, especially in the winter.
R is for regret. One is that I never lived alone before getting married. I went straight from the 'rents to R's house. If life goes well, I'll never have that chance again. Other than that I try not to worry about the past.
S is for sports. I loved to play volleyball, basketball, softball and swim as a kid. As a young adult I snowboarded and kayaked a lot. Now, not much of anything. I like to run. I HATE watching sports on TV, thought I don't mind attending live games.
T is for tattoo. One on my ankle. It is a Pisces sign. It is faded and has bled and is very much just a blob now. I can't decide if I should remove it or see if I can have it redone. Would I get another? Sure, if I could design something with my kids initials or something really meaningful to me. Would I want my kids to have one? I don't think I'd mind as long as they weren't going crazy with them.
U is ultimate reality. I'd love to live in a small beach town, surf everyday, garden, read, walk, bike and just chill with my peeps.
V is for vegetables. I love them. I love asparagus, corn, peppers, pumpkins. I love to grow them too. I'm going to learn to can them this summer.
W is for worst habit. It's toss up between picking at every bump on my skin, and talking too much. And I've noticed I interrupt a bit. I've been working on that.
X is for number of x-rays. 2 that I can remember. One for a broken wrist and the other for plantar fasciitis.
Y is for yummy food. Tomatoes with garlic, basil, balsamic and olive oil. With crusty bread. Yum!
Z is for zodiac. I'm a Pisces. I think it fits though I haven't really found my creativity yet. But I will.

So a little about me.

DIY & Me

2008-06-05T08:59:00.004-06:00

I grew up in a very traditional household. Dad took care of the cars and big projects, Mom took care of the inside and kids. R and I are also a very traditional, however, he does not take care of the cars, and for the past 5 years, he also doesn't do much in the way of house projects. He just doesn't want to. I can respect that. But I also have to face the fact that we definitely bought an outdated, fixer-upper in need of updating, repairing and the usual maintenance. What is a girl to do when hubby has other interests that don't include putting up chair-rail in the bedrooms and switching out the fixtures in the bathroom to chrome? Well, she decides to DIY.

I fantasize about moving into a smaller, already fixed-up home where all I have to do is place furniture. But the reality of our situation is, we bought a fixer upper in a highly desirable area. Most of the value of our home is actually the land it sits on. We could probably knock the house down and sell the lot for almost as much as both of them together. Possibly more if I really think about it. Our home was built in 1970 and has that lovely 70s aura about it. I've painted, oh how I've painted, but the truth is, it needs more than that. It needs new bathrooms, a new kitchen, a basement reconfigure, decks redone, windows replaced, a roof. Can I tackle all that? Obviously, no. But there is quite a bit I could do with a little knowledge and a lot of sweat. And the rest I can outsource.

So I am going to tackle a project a month. Some are smaller than others, so I might get a few in each month, but if I aim for completing a project a month, in 12 months there will be 12 things in our home that I don't cringe at the sight of. And who knows, maybe it will be contagious.

13 pounds down, 13 more to go!

2008-05-19T14:31:00.003-06:00

So I've lost 13 pounds. Feeling great about that. I have no cute clothes and desperately need to update my wardrobe, but I'm not done losing weight yet so I'm going to wait. I went out with some girlfriends last night to the MIA concert and didn't feel like a fatty the whole night. That felt great. But I didn't feel really cute either because my clothes are a bit big and somewhat boring.
The question is, what is my personal style? I honestly don't know. In high school I was a bit of a hippy and favored flowy, earth mama type clothes. Since then I've had a hard time figuring out what my style is. I still like earthy type clothes, but I also like clothes with a little bit of a punk rock edge, but I also like the SoCal look as well as the polished Anne Taylor look. Part of the problem is that I'm 35 and not sure what is appropriate anymore. Do I look totally ridiculous wearing Chuck Taylor's with skulls? I'm not very good and mixing and matching things so the Boho look is hard for me. Plus I'm hyper aware of my body shape and what makes me look leaner vs. bigger. But you can't wear long dark book cut jeans, heels and a V neck top every single day. Is it possible to take a fashion class?
My good friend is very Boho and puts things together that would give me a heart attack leaving the house in. For instance, yesterday she wore a navy and white stripe spaghetti strap tank over a black tank. It looked fine, but I would have NEVER put it together because my inner rules say navy and black don't go together. I would have totally been stuck with a plain white tank underneath. Actually I wouldn't have worn it at all because I feel weird layering. I've got issues I tell ya. For years I've stuck to jeans, black top, black belt, black shoes, silver hoops. My uniform. But then a male friend commented on my uniform. So now I feel boring.
So I guess it's time to research and make a plan for updating my wardrobe.
Then I'll have to make a plan to keep the weight off so I can wear the new wardrobe.
Oh the things I occupy my brain space worrying about.

Priorities & Intention

2008-04-11T12:23:00.004-06:00

Sometimes I swear I have ADD. Days go by and I wonder what I've accomplished. I tend to flit from one thing to the next. At other times in my life I have had imposed structure (which I have always resented) in the form of public school, parental rules, work rules and expectations, etc. Since I quit working for Novell, I have pretty much been on my own to dictate my priorities and how my time is best spent. I don't think I have done a good job. I get easily overwhelmed and distracted and spend my time on whatever is right in front of me and demanding the most attention RIGHT NOW.

As a result, one of things I have tried to cultivate in my life is to live it with intention. To create the life I want based on what I value most and to feel like I am really living each moment so that when I look back on my life, I feel like a used my time here well. I don't want to look back on my whole life and feel like I do about most of my days, like I just went through the motions. But if my days go by that way, then it follows that the result of my lifetime would also be that.

Being an orginizationally challenged individual I haven't been successful and figuring out how to mesh my values, my priorities and my time together in a meaningful way. But thank goodness there are people out there that are naturally good at this stuff and these amazing people write books!

I'm currently reading Find More Time: how to get things done at home, organize your life and feel great about it by Laura Stack. Oh how I love this book. It is a book to own. It is organized it to bit size steps that help you figure it all out and progress. It gives simple, concrete steps and examples to help those of us that are organizationally dysfunctional. I tend to get bogged down in the details, so simple is best.

I have discovered my main values are: family, learning, security, health, and fun. It may seem obvious to most people, but I now realize that my time and actions should be based on these values. I've set several small, reachable goals for each value with rewards for reaching them. Progress is the name of the game. During the day I stop and think, "does this relate to my values? does this help me reach my goals"? and if it doesn't, I redirect. Novel concept, I know.

I think this is a perfect task for spring.

Randomness

2008-03-26T10:45:00.003-06:00

I quit my "perfect" job at the Winner School. Why? Because the amount of energy it requires is far more than the benefits. And my dear husband finally realized that a part time job isn't going to change much financially but it certainly does increase the havoc level at our house. So I gathered my gumption and went in a quit. Do they think I'm a flake? Very likely. Does that really matter? Nope. I'm going to finish out this week and then I'll be done. I'm just going to stick with R and help the V Group run smoothly. This summer the monkeys will be in summer camp and I will have time to work and some time to play. Sounds nice.

On another front, somebody out there HATES my front door. I mean really hates it. Enough to send me a very rude anonymous letter stating that I can't possibly think it looks good and I need to repaint it ASAP. All I could say after reading it was "WOW". I will say that my front door is quite bold and I knew when I painted it that it wouldn't be everyone's cup of tea. But I cannot fathom that someone out there really thinks that I give a rats ass about their opinion of my door. There are some very deluded people out there with an over abundance of self importance. Oh well. I promptly went out to look for patio furniture to match my front door and found a bunch of sets that have cushions in the exact colors this person seems to think are so awful. Interesting isn't it? I've been saving and have enough to go purchase a set as soon as I can borrow my dad's truck. I'm seriously considering painting the garage door to match!

On the subject of school schedules: Why on earth would they give us last Thursday and Friday off, this Monday off, hold school on Tuesday Wednesday and a short day on Thursday, then have Friday off again? It's maddening.

Tonight is my birthday dinner with some of my girlfriends. Hooray. Turkey sandwiches with Caramel Coffee Cake for dessert. I can't wait!

My dear sister A has not had her baby yet. Making us all crazy with anticipation. I am so excited to have a little nephew. I think it is more fun to have a new baby in the family when you are past the baby phase yourself. When my neice R was born I had a 11 month old and a 4 year old. I don't actually remember much of her as a baby. This time I think I will have a chance to enjoy it. And then in August I will have a new V neice and nephew! How fun!

And finally, I have daffodils! I have tulip leaves (no flowers because unbeknownst to me, deer LOVE tulips and will eat them while you sleep!). I have new green sproutings on my perennials! I love Spring! It is definitely my favorite season. More and more I appreciate the feeling of rebirth and awakening that accompanies Spring. This felt like such a cold, snowy, freezing Winter. Spring reminds you that you will make it through the seasons of your life, literally and figuratively.

Expectations

2008-03-25T08:43:00.002-06:00

I often find myself going overboard to live up to "their" expectations. But who are "they" anyway? I'm not really sure, but "they" seem to be ever present in my mind. I'd rather go overboard than underboard. So I spend too much on gifts, I freak out over potluck dishes and I make sure holidays are overpriced and overstuffed. Why? Where did I get this crazy idea that simple isn't enough?
I read in Martha Beck's book Finding Your North Star that we all have around 5 people that make up our "they". When we are making choices we are thinking about what these people would think. Of course they change over time and we may or may not actually know these people. It is totally possible that you could be making decisions in your real life based on what you think your favorite movie star would think about your choice. Isn't that crazy?
The funny thing is I had a conversation with someone who I realized makes up one of my "they" people this weekend. I'm going overboard to impress this person, and this person is wishing that we could all just relax, simplify, and make our lives easier, more affordable and enjoyable. Because this person suffers from the same need to go overboard! I'm so glad we talked!
So I'm going to do my best in situations that require me to put myself out into the public sphere to stop, figure out what it is I think "they" want me to do, then figure out what I want (now there's a concept!) and simplify! Simplify the cost, the presentation, the effort. Because if we all keep trying to keep up, we actually out do and expectations keep going up, up, up.
With the economy that way it is, I really want to be saving my money and investing it instead of wasting it on pretentions. I'm so glad to know that others feel the same way. I shouldn't care what others think, but I do. But if I'm honest and tell others where my priorites lie, I might just find out they feel the same way. And if they don't, at least they know where I stand, right?

Sunday Catch-up

2008-03-16T12:57:00.007-06:00

Just thought I'd post a few new pics and an update.

Life is good. Spring is in the air (thank goodness!) and my mood is improving. It did snow last night but as I sit here I can see the snow melting away. I love that about Spring, you know it will melt! The forecast looks sunny and warm for the week. I am ready to get these kids outside and moving! Here is a pic of President's Day at our house.

I joined the gym at the beginning of the month. I've been trying to go each morning at 7 am, right after R comes back from his workout. I made it three times last week. I'm determined to go at least 4 this week. Can I see a difference? My clothes do feel better and I've received some very lovely compliments. Have I been following THE WAY? Pretty much. I need to revise THE WAY a bit and really commit. It's sure hard when it is birthday week and the Girl Scouts are selling those damn cookies!

I've been quite busy this week, in a good way. Tuesday I ran into my friend L at Target. Always nice to see her. Then I ran into the Long Lost H again. Weird how we didn't see each other for 4 years and now we see each other and have all these mutual friends. Cahraaazy! Wednesday I took Z to the candy factory for a tour with our Mommy Group. Always a good time. I bought 4 marshmallow eggs, ate one and then the dog ate the rest. Oh well. Thursday I took Z to go skating with my friends Piper and Kim. Great fun but I'm sure I picked up a virus there. Then I went to see Michael Pollan speak on his books The Omnivores Dilemma and In Defense of Food. I went with my friends Bridgette and Kevin. Love those guys. Love Michael Pollan! I highly recommend his books. I'm seriously a food geek! Friday night R and I went to a Gala event for the Utah Board of Realtors with Brad, Billy and Dinnie. We had fun but R ticked me off and it kind of threw off my groove. Oh well. At least I got a pretty new dress out of it. Here we are (minus Billy)

Saturday morning I realized I had definitely picked up some sort of virus, but M had a karate belt test. I'm so proud of the kid! He got his orange belt. He has been very dedicated and works hard, so he certainly deserves it!

I spent the rest of the day feeling pretty crappy. I finally took some ibuprofen and felt much better. We went to celebrate our little friend N's 6th birthday last night. We had a lot of fun. I sooo look forward to getting together with our awesome group of friends on the weekends. I've decided I am very social, just not a planner. Plan it, I'll be there. If I have to plan it, I'll stay home and read. Lazy, I know. I need to work on that.

I just finished Louise Hays Heal Your Life. What a great book. Simple and quick but really profound. My next bookclub read is The Good Earth by Pearl Buck. I'm going to really try to read less non-fiction, less self-help and more uplifting fiction. I'm going to have to wait until Summer to tackle some of the deeper books I've been wanting to read. I just don't have the emotional strength right now.

Today R is off at Man Camp with his friends. They hiked up to a yurt and will hike and snowboard or ski all day, stay over in the yurt and come home in the morning. Doesn't sound to fun to me. I'm home with the kids and a nasty cold. But later we are going to see Horton Hears a Who with Family W. Should be fun. I've taken some meds hoping not to sniffle, cough and blow my nose through the movie. I'm just no good at staying home and feeling sorry for myself. I'm going to breeze right through this cold dangit!

Hope all is well with everyone!

Peace Love and Happiness!

Forgiveness

2008-02-27T19:42:00.006-07:00

Forgiveness has been in my thoughts a lot in the past few weeks. There have been several dramas I have been either involved in or aware of recently and it has given me a chance to think about how sweet the action and emotion of forgiveness really is.

The definition of forgiveness is "to cease to feel resentment against". Simple to define, so incredibly hard to do. It may be not too difficult to forgive someone who is sorry, who hurt you by accident and is seeking forgiveness. I have found this to often be the case. But some situations and people make forgiveness feel impossible. The issue never resolves, the person takes no responsibility. Even then, it may be possible to cut the person or situation out your life, and then forgiveness can come somewhat easily. But then there are the grand-daddy tests of forgiveness. The people and situations that you are stuck with indefinitely. It is so easy to begin to hate, resent and be hypersensitive to any slight. We are sure we are in the right and the other is definitely in the WRONG. And while that may be the case, it might not.

Why is this so hard? Well, it may feel like accepting abuse, like saying, "it's OK if you treat me like shit, I don't mind". But what we have to remember is that we can forgive and still say "that's enough of that" at the same time. Forgiveness is not saying, "I don't mind" it's saying, "I'm not going to harbor anger and resentment against you because it hurts me". Forgiveness really has nothing to do with the other person, it has to do with what kind of feelings you are willing to allow into your heart. Hate, anger, fear, resentment, and judgment are all soooo bad for your mind, body and soul. They take you away from your center, your universal being, from God, and keep you trapped in the past. Love, forgiveness, and acceptance are what God is, and keep you focused on the present. The only power we have is the choice we make RIGHT NOW. If we want to closer to God, we absolutely must protect the love in our heart. Anger is so seductive because it feels like POWER. This is a sad illusion because we have given away our power and have let someone else's actions come between us and God. This is why Jesus' only commandment was to love. It is the most powerful action possible. Forgiveness must occur to let love back into your heart. The other person doesn't even have to know about it. It isn't about them anyway. Forgiveness is as much an attitude as it an action. When Peter asked Jesus "Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?” Jesus replied, “I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven”. Basically, just keep on doin' it.

So how do we do it? Well, I think there are lots of ways. One way that is especially effective for me is to remember that hurt people hurt people. Something in them is hurting and once I recognize that they are acting out of their own pain, sadness, or fear, compassion usually sets in and I don't feel so angry anymore. At night before going to bed you can think of anyone that you may have pushed outside your loving heart that day, a rude store clerk, your belligerent child, you clueless husband, your uppity friend, your insufferable in-laws. Take the time to mentally apologizing for forgetting to love them, forgive their trespass and forgive yourself for not remaining true to yourself. Sleep is so much more restful with a peaceful heart! If it is particularly hard to forgive, ask the Source for help. Maybe you can't do it all by yourself, that's OK, just ask for the strength to do it. Say forgiveness affirmations and make the intention that you will not let negative emotions rule you. Forgiveness doesn't usually come over night. The important thing is to keep practicing and eventually, it does happen.

This I know for a fact. Several years ago something happened with a friend that hurt me deeply. I realized I had hurt her and when I tried to apologize and work things out, I was completely rejected and my try at reconciliation become a new issue. This caused not only a deep rift between me and this friend, but also involved many mutual friends. In the end I chose to remove myself from the situation as much as possible. While I could understand that I had hurt her (which I did and deeply regret), and her reaction was because of this hurt, I just could not get over how much her actions were hurting me. For at least a year I was angry and resentful. I thought negative thoughts about her often. Then, as time went by, I thought about it less and less until something would happen that brought it up again. I was always surprised at how upset I still was about it. I finally decided I had to forgive her and myself because it just felt so awful. Even then, it took much longer than I had anticipated. But every time I felt hurt I would remember my intention to forgive and move past the situation. And one day I realized I no longer felt the anger and pain I did. I felt OK about her and what had happened. Do I think we will ever be as close as we were? No, I don't see that happening (though you never know), but I can see her (and I do every few months), talk with her and actually enjoy her company at that time. I wish her nothing but a wonderful life and can appreciate her many talents. She's really is a great person. And I took away the lesson that I need to speak less, listen more, and think before I open my big mouth. Something I've struggled with my whole life. I also learned that just because things roll off my back pretty easily (for the most part), other people may feel criticized or judged by things that I am either saying in jest, or just stating as an observation. I need to learn to think about how the other person will feel about what I am saying. Life lessons.

Our egos are so fragile. It is easy to be offended when someone decides that we aren't worth much to them. It's easy to see their faults and ignore our own. It's easy to blame the situation on anything but ourselves. But we only get one life, every minute is so precious. We have to take responsibility for everything that we draw into our lives. Do we want to spend those moments consumed with those that have wronged us? I don't. I'd rather remember that each of acts in a way that seems right at the time. We are all doing the best we can with what we have. I'd rather forgive, try to find the lesson for myself and BE HAPPY!

A few quotes on forgiveness:

If we practice and eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth, soon the whole world will be blind and toothless. - Gandhi

Forgiveness is not an occasional act. It is a permanent attitude. - Martin Luther King Jr.

You have learned how it was said: Eye for eye and tooth for tooth. But I say this to you: offer the wicked man no resistance. On the contrary, if anyone hits you on the right cheek, offer him the other as well. -Jesus-

To carry a grudge is like being stung to death by one bee. - William H Walton

If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we would find in each person's life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility -Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Forgiveness is the sweetest revenge. -Isaac Friedman

Random Pics of the Fam Damily

2008-02-21T10:30:00.007-07:00

Z with the "fake" Santa. The "real" one is at South Towne Mall, just so ya know.

The boys on their birthday.

M surfing.

Z in Costa Rica. My boy loves his sand!

M in Costa Rica. The pool is REALLY cold!

Recession Proofing our Finances

2008-02-19T16:12:00.004-07:00

Well, it's official. We are in a recession. How bad will it be? How will affect us? Obviously no one can predict the future, so it's a good idea to plan for the worst while still hoping for the best. I admit, we were caught with our pants down. We went 6 months with $3000 income. Brutal is the best way to describe it. But as with all things difficult, we learned some really important lessons. We can weather the storm without killing each other. We might make each other pretty damn miserable, but we're all in this together. Buy less, buy quality. Used is often just as good as new. Travel is fun but not a necessity. Last, but certainly not least, (this might seem obvious) debt is bad, savings are good.
So how do we plan to get through the recession as well as make sure we are ready for another dry spell in income? Funny you should ask. Here is our basic plan.

1. Lower monthly payments. We lucked out. Our house has appreciated a considerable amount. When rates went down we did a refi. We took out enough equity to pay off our debt and still lowered out monthly payments. While I don't recommend this for everyone, and fully understand the consequences of out actions (trading equity to pay off past purchases, trading unsecured debt for secured) for us it really did make the most sense. We now have some much needed breathing room.

2. No new debt. If we don't have the cash for it, we don't get it. This is a hard one. For R it is because he is always tempted to take a line of credit and invest it. I finally had to tell him that it ain't gonna happen again. He still brings it up, I still shut him down. I'm sure a fabulous opportunity is going to come along and I will really have to stand my ground. NO NEW DEBT! I've canceled all but one card with a reasonable limit (for renting cars and such). For me it is hard when it comes to travel. We are planning on a Costa Rica trip this fall, but if we don't have the money saved by then, we aren't going. In the past I would have insisted that we still go for the experience of it, arguing that it is our life after all. I think the credit card companies had me snowed for a bit there with their feel good commercials. Well I'm wise to them now!

3. SAVE!!! I am passionate about saving up a six month emergency fund. A full year would be better, but I will determine if that is necessary when I hit the 6 month mark. R is also working on saving a 6 month buffer for business expenses. That way we won't be tempted to rob Peter to pay Paul. We currently have 1 month saved. It's not much, but it certainly is better than being 5 months in the hole!

4. Increase income. I've been a mostly SAHM for the past 5 years. I've done corporate America and I don't see that happening again for me in this lifetime. The benefits were great, but not worth the stress and time spent doing something I really didn't enjoy for someone else's benefit. I also can't imagine working 40+ hours and having 2 kids. I know lots of people do it, and that's great, I just can't imagine it for me. I don't juggle a lot of responsibilities well. So I've been helping R with his business a few hours a week. but that doesn't actually bring in any money. I have been trying to think of a part-time job that I could see me enjoying and bringing in enough to make having Z in daycare worth it. Well there really aren't any. Then I realized that if I work at his pre-school/daycare, his care is free and I am bringing in some money. Plus I think it would be fun. I have an interview tomorrow. They are looking for some permanent people as well as some subs. I think I may start out as a sub. More flexibility. But I will have to find out what benefits, if any, they provide. The other place I've considered is the rec center. They only pay about $8 an hour, but Z could go to their daycare for free, their shifts are short, and you get a rec center pass for free. Not a bad deal really. By bringing in some extra money each month I'm hoping to a) get that emergency fund built quickly b) take some of the pressure of R and c) give us some fun money for a few wants. It has been pretty lean around here lately.

5. Make every dollar count. It's times like these that you really start to think about what is important to you. When you only have a few dollars to spend, McDonald's because you're too tired to cook isn't as appealing. You start to think about travel vs. a newer car vs. a bathroom remodel vs. retirement or college savings. Some days I want to update my house SOOOOO BAD! And then I read an article about a couple who retired at 40 by being frugal and I realize my house is fully functional (mostly), just out of style and a bit worn. I shop and wish I could buy a million pairs of shoes until I realize my car is getting up there in miles. Or some friends travel monthly and I wish I could too until I realize that my dream career requires a master's degree. It's all about choices. Some people could never imagine letting their children wear hand-me-downs or used clothes. I don't mind a bit. When I score a Tony Hawk t-shirt for $2 instead of $20, I have $18 to put towards something else. Like organic food, which is pretty much non-negotiable for me. Everyone's choices will be different. But knowing what choices are important to our family makes managing the money a lot more simple.

Super Tuesday!

2008-02-05T18:01:00.002-07:00

Lest you forgot- VOTE!!! So important. Powerful. And you get a neat sticker too!

In Defense of Food (a review)

2008-01-28T18:17:00.001-07:00

I just read In Defense of Food by Michael Pollan. Last year I read his book The Omnivore's Dilemma and LOVED it! So I was really excited to read this new book. I realize I'm kind of a geek to get so excited about social commentaries about food as well as the food economy. Guilty. I still love them though.

So he starts out by explaining why another book about food. In the Omnivore's Dilemma he goes into extreme detail to map out food systems. But he never did say what it is he now eats after doing all this research about how our food gets to our table. So in this book he does. He basically boils it down to "Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants." This reminds me of Marion Nestle's advice, "Eat less. Move more. Eat lots of fruits and vegetables. Go easy on the junk". Which is advice I have taken straight to heart.

The book is broken down into 3 parts. The first explains how we have gotten away from eating foods, and now worship the cult of nutritionism which is instead eating nutrients. So instead of eating carrots because we like carrots, and we know that carrots are good for us, we eat carrots because we are trying to get more beta carotene. And then we may wonder if we really need to eat the carrots and instead take a beta carotene supplement. Then we wonder why we just aren't that healthy. We talked about this in my advanced nutrition class last year. My professor pointed out that nutritionists have found that supplements usually fail to do what a good balanced diet does. We obviously don't know everything about what is in food and how the body digests food. The sum of the parts don't equal the whole.

Section 2 talks about the Western Diet. He goes into how most traditional diets, whether vegetarian, mostly meat, high fat, low fat or anything else, have tended to have populations with far less incidence of disease. Pretty much any diet is healthy but the Western Diet. But maybe that is because we have gotten away from eating real food and instead eat a lot of refined foodlike substances that are primarily made of corn, wheat or soy, repackaged artfully to seem like different types of food. It looks like a diverse diet, but it's not. And of course there is the conspicuous absence of fruits and vegetables. Lots of meat (raised on corn,wheat and soy), lots of processed foods packed with refined starches (corn, wheat and soy), lots of sugar (more corn), trans fats (corn, soy) and salt. We are plagued with excess calories and still we are
undernourished, a feat not really thought possible before.

Section 3 goes into the basic "rules" or guidelines he follows as a result of his research. 1) Don't eat anything your grandmother wouldn't recognize. Go-gurt anyone?
2) Avoid food with ingredeints that are a) unfamiliar b)unpronouceable c)more than 5 in number and d) include high fructose corn syrup.
3) Avoid foods that make health claims (I mostly agree with this, but I love me some Cheerios). 4) Shop the perimeter of the store
5)Get out of the supermarket if possible and instead patronize farmer's markets, CSAs or grow a garden.
6) Eat mostly plants, especially leaves.
7) Remember you are what your food eats too
8)If you have the space, buy a freezer.
9) Eat well grown food from healthy soils.
10) Eat wild foods when you can
11) Be the kind of person that eats supplements, but then don 't.
12) Eat more like the French, or the Italians, or the Japanese, or the Indians, or the Greeks...(those who have traditional diets tend to be healthier)
13) Don't look for the magic bullet in a traditional diet (enjoy your food, don't just eat...dine.)
14)Have a glass of wine with dinner
15)Pay more, eat less.
16) Eat meals. Don't snack and graze your way through the day.
17) Do all your eating at the table.
18)Don't get your fuel from the same place your car does.
19) Try not to eat alone.
20) Consult your gut. (Stop eating if you are full. If the food makes you feel like crap, don't eat it).
21) Eat slowly.
22) Cook. And if you can plant a garden.

I've spent many, many years reading nutrition books and the latest diet books. For a little while I felt totally messed up. I've got lots of fitness fanatic friends. I've got friends that follow strict diets. I've tried them myself. About a year and a half ago I decided I was done. No more diets, not more diet books, no more latest nutrient, no more supplements. I just wanted to eat. And at first I let myself just eat a lot of crap. Did I gain weight? Not really. I've been about the same weight for 2 years. Then I read the Omnivore's Dilemma and decided that my gut feeling that organic foods really are the best idea for health and the planet. Then I read Marion Nestle's book What to Eat. I loved that she is a nutritionist but has a totally common sense approach to food. I made my New Year's Resolution: Eat LOADS of fruits and vegetables. I've done pretty well so far. Recently I have decided I am ready to try to lose the 20 lbs I need to shed. And the seduction of weight loss products started to creep back in. Should I do a cleanse? Should I talk to my doctor about weight loss medications? Should I give up starchy foods? And then this book reminded me of what I really think the key to weight loss is: Eat less, move more, eat lots of fruits and vegetables, go easy on the junk. Eat food, not much, mostly plants. It's a simple as that.

The Dilemma of Laundry

2008-01-26T15:17:00.001-07:00

Laundry. I hate it. I hate sorting it, soaking it, folding it, and especially putting it all away. I daydream about the day M and Z can do their own. R? I should make him do his own, but I figure, he does support the family and all. I'll give him a pass for now.

So as much as I already dislike the chore, I find it is beginning to bring about a whole new level of stress beyond "Do I really have to do it?". Am I doing it in the "right" way? The most environmental way?

I try to do full loads. It is rare that I do a smaller emergency load. I generally wash in cold unless it is whites. I buy a "green" detergent from Costco. Is it really green? I don't know, I just believe it is because they say it is. I haven't found the time to research my laundry products. Does it work as well? Not as well as say, Tide with bleach, but it is acceptable. Does it cost more? More than Costco's Kirkland brand. About equal to Tide. I've begun adding Borax. This I know is environmentally OK. I use it to boost the only acceptable detergent. It's a new cost, but minimal. About $3.50 for a box that last's about 2 weeks. I used to use Clorox 2, then I switched to Purex all fabric bleach for colors. Now I'm using nothing. Are my clothes as clean? No. I use more Spray n Wash now, which I'm sure is a no-no. I tried several environmentally correct stain fighters. None really worked all that well and they cost a fortune. I don't use a fabric softener in the wash. And then there is the bleach problem. I tried not using it for awhile. My white towels, which I bought because they were "simpler" because they all matched, didn't fade and I could always bleach them white again, require bleach to stay white. Then I found out bleach was bad. So my towels began to get dingy. Plus what about Z's "accidents"? I sure do like to bleach his little undies white again, plus I know they are really clean. Not sure if just hot water would kill all the germs. So I began to use bleach again. But now I feel guilty. This month's Martha Steward Living says to use Oxigenated Bleach instead. They show a photo of an environmentally correct brand. Will Oxi-Clean work? Or is there something in there that isn't good? And does it kill germs as well as clean stuff? More research to do.

And then there is the dryer. In the summer I hang 90% of our laundry outside. I don't really mind crunchy clothes. I learned that using less detergent actually leaves your clothes softer. But in the winter I have to move this operation inside and it takes a lot longer for everything to dry. So when I do use the dryer, once again I try to do full loads, do them in succession to take advantage of a hot dryer, and always clean my lint trap. But I used to use Bounce to tame the ever dreaded static cling. I'm guessing there is something petroleum based in there (research, anyone?) so I bought an environmentally friendly claiming brand at Wal-mart (of all places, which is whole different rant). The clothes are softish, but it does almost nothing for static cling. Seriously, folding socks is a shocking experience, and I keep finding stray socks in my pants.

I have no concrete answers and certainly don't claim to be the pillar of environmental living. I try very hard to do the best thing for our environment. I really do care. But sometimes I get so sick of how hard it is to do simple things like laundry. It would be nice if all so called "green" products really were and there weren't any money hungry corporations out there willing to take a buck they don't deserve by touting their "green"ness, when you read later that they aren't really. It would be nice to live in a world where people wouldn't want to sell you anything that will cause algae blooms or kill ocean wildlife or build up toxins in their bodies, which inevitably we eat and end up building up in our own and children's bodies. What if all products were OK for the environment and our bodies because that was all our society allowed? It would be nice if good products weren't half the size and twice as much. It would be nice if I didn't care if my whites were blindingly white or my clothes soft and static free. There is plenty of blame to go around.

I guess change happens from right where you are. If I do a little better, learn a little more, and decide to put my money where my mouth is, change will come. Hopefully, others will make changes as well and the momentum will pick up. I am a hopeful, optimistic person. I believe that change will come and we will figure out a way out of the mess we've made. It starts with people like me thinking about simple things, like laundry.

Now if you'll excuse me, I've got some research to do.

Peace.

Nature is Amazing!

2008-01-23T18:22:00.001-07:00

I thought I'd give a quick snippet about life around here lately.

Snow, snow and more snow. Wow. It is hard to believe we could get so much snow in such a short time. I've always figured, if we have to have winter, it may as well snow. And boy have we.

So today I took the Z-ster sledding with our Mommy Group. Oh my gosh we had fun! I definitely counted it towards my workout for the day. Lots of walking uphill, followed by zooming, shrieking and laughing. And of course bowling other children over. Z managed to knock our friend Carson over, right in the gut. Carson managed to laugh it off and keep going. Then Z hit his cousin A, who is very petite, in the back. It knocked the wind right out of her, poor thing. My sensitive little Z was yelling, "Did I hurt her?! Did I hurt her?!, Oh NO!!!" I didn't know who to feel worse for. Both managed to recover and a good time was had by all.

M had cub Scouts today. As we pulled in the driveway after I picked him up we were greeted by this sight:

Amazing aren't they?

We are so fortunate to live where we are reminded of the magnificent world we live in.

Back on the Chain Gang

2008-01-10T11:03:00.001-07:00

I'm getting a job. Or at least, I'm pretty sure I am.

I have been pretty adamant that I was NOT going back to work. I've got 2 smallish kids, lots of activities, a household and a husband with erratic work schedule. I have refused to add another responsibility to my daily schedule. I have said I would rather move and/or cut back expenses to the bare minimum rather than spend 40 hours working for someone else's bottom line and then come home and do all the rest of my work, all for a pitiful amount of money. My life energy is worth more than that.

I've been praying for the right gig to come along. Something that meets all my requirements and takes care of most of my concerns. Those concerns have been:
* not paying for M to also go to after-school care (in other words, being available to pick him up from school at 3:15)
*making a reasonable amount more than I am paying for Z to go to the Winner school.
*dealing with Z's bowel problems and not expecting someone else to deal with them.
*not being in an environment where the company's wants and needs must supersede my own.
*getting help around the house.

And then I had the IDEA. Why not work at the Winner School. I love the place. Z is already there and if I am working there, he is pretty much free. And I could be there for the inevitable accidents. That kills 3 birds with one stone. They are always looking for subs at a minimum, which would give me flexibility to start off with and a foot in the door. People work there forever, which shows me that it must be a pretty decent place to work. Plus it just sounds kinda fun. Which I really couldn't say about any of the other jobs I considered.

So I filled out an application. Their receptionist told me that she is pretty sure I could at least sub to start and she would give my app to the owner who incidentally knows my mom from the gym. So now I'm just waiting for a call.

I hope it is all I want it to be!

First Weigh In

2007-12-08T09:06:00.002-07:00

It snowed like you wouldn't believe last night. Actually it is still snowing. Several feet are expected from this storm. It's truly beautiful.

I woke up this morning and thought I maybe would have to hit the later Weight Watchers meeting because of the snow. As I lay there procrastinating I heard the plow go by. So off I went. I cannot believe how many people were there regardless of the snow!

Official weigh in: 174. So I lost 1.6 pounds. I'm sure it would have been more if I hadn't gone off program and had a couple of drinks as well as cheese fondue last night. Oh well. 1.6 is right on target. If I lose 1 pound a week I will be at my goal by Summer.

I've decided that Saturday is my free day. I know WW doesn't have a free day, but I do. I don't plan on going crazy, but I do want to be able to have a few of the things I haven't been eating because they aren't on Core. Like Honey Nut Cheerios for breakfast. We've got several parties tonight and I just don't want to be worrying about every little thing. We'll see how this strategy works. If I still lose a pound or more by next Saturday I'll keep my free day. If not, I'll re-evaluate.

Happy Snow Day!

A Week in the Life

2007-12-02T16:40:00.001-07:00

So I did make it to Weight Watchers yesterday, barely. We woke up to one heck of a snowstorm. It is about time! I weighed in at 175.4. About what I figured. So my first goal is 6 lbs. for December. I want to be 169.4 on January 1st. Too ambitious for the holidays? I don't think so. It's just of matter of priority, and right now, decluttering my body is right up at the top.
This week has been filled with the mundane: school, work, karate, homework, cleaning, carpooling, etc. I finally got going and painted my kitchen ceiling yesterday. I took M and got some Christmas shopping done. Today I painted one coat of the yellow I am painting the walls. Already it looks so bright and happy. I know I'm going to love it. I moved some shelves downstairs to put the games in. My plan is to have one of my chrome restaurant style racks full of only dishes. I want to start using "the good stuff" all the time. Why the heck not?
R took the boys out sledding yesterday. It was quite a storm and they had a great time. I think I will take them out again tomorrow after school.
We went to dinner with some close friends that I just adore. Neither of us could find a sitter, so we loaded up the boys (they have 2 as well) and headed to a local pizza joint. It was a little crazy, but also fun. Sometimes I get a kick out of the madness that can be family life. I was proud of us, especially of R, for just going with the flow and having a good time. We went back to there house and just talked and enjoyed each others company. I had a really great time.
Today we decorated the Christmas tree. It looks really pretty. Every year I want to buy a new pre-lit tree and I then I can't convince myself to spend the money on it. And the past few years I have wanted to change my ornaments, but I just don't have the cash. Then I get it decorated and it looks so pretty that I don't really mind.
I'm sitting at the kitchen table overlooking the valley all blanketed with snow. The valley is clear (a rarity these days) and you can see all the way to the Great Salt Lake. The pine trees in my backyard are covered with snow and icicles. You really couldn't plan a prettier picture. It's moments like this that I am filled with gratitude and awe. It's these moments I need to remember when I'm frazzled and focusing on the problems.
I have just planned M birthday party and e-mailed to reserve a spot at the Utah Museum of Natural History. He wants to do a Super Sleuths party. It should be really fun. I've also designed our New Year's party invitations. I'm feeling a little more in control now. December is always a hectic month for me. Besides the normal Christmas craziness I also get to plan a New Year's party for a huge crowd, 2 birthday parties for my kiddos, come up with gifts for kiddos 2 weeks after Christmas as well as a gift for my mother, and plan spotlights for my kids at school. If I don't get a start early, I'm doomed. So I'm glad to have completed a few tasks.
So here's to another fabulous week!

Time for A Change

2007-11-30T17:07:00.001-07:00

I'm making a change. I'm going to lose weight.
Why? I am sick of being chunky. I am sick of worrying about what I'm going to wear to any given gathering. Trying to find the magical outfit that will make me look and feel skinnier than I am. Wondering if I'm going to be the fattest one there. Going on vacation and looking at all the cute bikinis while I wear my oh so cute cover-up. Going shopping and knowing that it will be a miracle to go into the cute stores and find a size 14. Wearing and XXL from Target. Shopping with friends and just looking at shoes and earrings. Feeling like a frumpy mom.

I just finished reading Conversations with God and during the conversation it states that if you don't like what is going on in your life, just choose again. Up to this point I have chosen to be fat. Simple as that. I haven't really exercised in 6 months (while I have used the excuse that I had a foot injury that required surgery 2 months ago, I could have done some other kind of exercise and didn't). I have eaten whatever I wanted. Really the miracle is that I'm not bigger than I am! I won't say the time has been wasted however. I was really muddled in the brain by all the different diets I've tried in the past. Just being, without worrying about dieting has helped me regain a sense of what is normal eating and what my health priorities are.

So, now I'm ready to choose again. I am going to choose health. I am going to choose healthy, whole, preferably organic and local foods cooked in simple ways. I choose to move my body. I choose to regain a body that I can be proud of. I choose to weigh less than 150 lbs. I choose to wear a size 1o or smaller. And I choose not to freak out about it along the way.

So that is what I've chosen. The next question is obviously how? Tomorrow I am going to go back to Weight Watchers. I've done it before and lost 15 lbs before I got pregnant the second time. I am going to do the Core program, not counting points for the most part, just eating from an extensive list of healthy whole foods. The accountability of the weigh ins as well as the support from the meetings will really help me, I believe. R pays the equivalent in a gym membership each month, so I don't feel guilty , AT ALL, spending the money on myself (something I have used as an excuse not to rejoin in the past). I also plan to work up to running again. I am going to head out every morning from 7-8 to walk for the next month. In January I will begin to phase in running again. By May I'd like to run a half marathon in Ogden Canyon.

The when is that I'd l ike to hit certain goals along the way. I haven't worked them all out yet, and will post when I do, but I'm shooting for 145 lbs by June 2008. That's five pounds a month, just over 1 lb a week. Totally doable.

I'm going to my first meeting tomorrow. I will begin posting my stats then.

Chance Encounters

2007-11-07T08:42:00.001-07:00

I had such a happy chance encounter yesterday. I walked down to the school to vote and stood in the enormously long line and watched to women talking in front of me. I was thinking how cute one of the women's hair was and how stylishly she was dressed. I realized I had gone to school with the other one, but I didn't know her very well so I didn't say anything. After about 10 minutes I asked Z to go see if he could find his brother who was just finishing up his Spanish class. As I spoke, the lady with the cute hair turned to look at me, and oh my gosh! it was one of my best friends from about 5th to 8th grade, H. We both could not believe how long we had stood there before recognizing each other!

I've missed H. Our friendship was always interesting because we didn't go to school together after elementary. We'd be inseparable during the summer, then see each other less during the school year. She was a year older than me in school as well. I'd always worry when school started up that our friendship would end, but year after year it continued. But when she started high school I barely saw her. Then the year I entered high school she transferred to a private school and I honestly only saw her once after that. I always felt sad about it. Left behind a little. Logically I understood that we had just both moved onto new groups of people, and at the time I really didn't think about it much at all. But as time has gone by, I've realized how unfinished it all felt to me. I have a dream about her every six months or so and we meet up and are best friends all over again. Emotionally she was a huge part of my childhood. When she said she'd always felt bad we lost touch, it was like balm to a wound. Even if I never see her again, I would feel better going forward.

She had moved away for college and after she was married she moved away again. A few years back I heard she had moved back to town but I had no way of finding her. Her parents had moved and were unlisted. I didn't know her married name. Every so often someone, including my dad, would run into her, but no one ever had her number and I probably wouldn't have called anyway. I just kind of figured I'd run into her eventually. I could feel it coming for a long time. And then I did. I'm surprised it took so long. We know so many of the same people. She lives really close so I'm sure we are shopping at the same stores and eating at the same restaurants, etc. Her husbands older brother even dated a friend of mine for a long time. We just never met. Why? I don't know. But I'm so glad we did. It just brings some closure I've needed for a long time.

Do I expect it to be like the dream? BFF all over again? Of course not. But it would be great to keep in touch. Who knows what it will bring. But it certainly has made me very happy to have seen her and caught up for a minute.

Cutting Back

2007-10-26T16:10:00.001-06:00

As much as I hate to say it, we have been living the very typical American life of living beyond our means. Faced with the state of the real estate market and our income level stagnating, it is time to make some much needed adjustments to our budgeting, spending, and thinking in general.

Yesterday I called our cable company and cut our services. About 6 months ago I bundled our services with Comcast. We received digital phone, high speed internet and cable for $99 a month. Of course after taxes it came to about $128 month. R really enjoys having cable. I quit watching TV for the most part around June, so it hasn't meant much to me. Yesterday I cut our cable to the basic limited service for $14.99. This gives us very few channels, but one of them is Discovery Channel, and accounts for the majority of our TV viewing. Keeping cable saves us $10/month on our internet. Why do we NEED high speed internet? I'll get to that in a minute. So total we will be paying more like $70 instead of $128/month. We both have cell phones, with long distance and voicemail, so we are planning on using those for our phone needs. Total savings = $58.

We then decided that I am going to work from home 2 days a week. Currently I am going into work every morning to do the administrative work for our real estate business. We let our assistant go in September, saving us approximately $1500/month. I have been paying $400 for daycare each month. By staying home 2 days we can cut that to $160. Total savings = $240. By working at home I will absolutely need high speed internet. I will also need a fax line which will cost me $11.00 a month. By switching back to Qwest I also get 3 free months. Total savings = $39.

I have also been having Winder Dairy deliver our milk each week. It's local, it's fresh and sooo convenient! I called yesterday to cut service. Turns out Z can't really drink milk so we only need 1 gallon of milk each week for M and R. I'm already drinking soy. So I've cut our milk bill from $11 each week to $2.50 a week. Soy bring that bill to $5.00 week. Total savings= $6 / wk.

I have decided to keep our Netflix subscription for now. It is $8.99/month. But it can always go to.

I've started keeping my price book again. I'm going to do my dangdest to buy things at rock bottom prices, effectively giving ourselves a raise. I've stocked up on canned goods, rice, potatoes, squash, onions and frozen vegetables. I'm trying to cook economical, healthy meals from home. My weakness is lunch. I hate making lunch so I end up eating out a few days a week. I am planning to cut out fast food for the next little while. This should save us around $15/wk, or $60/month.

We've gotten a home equity loan and put our high interest credit cards on it, lowering our interest rate and giving us a tax break.

And as a last resort we are talking about moving. We love our neighborhood and would really like to stay. We have one of the larger homes in the area with the most incredible view. We are looking into downsizing. The question will be what we can sell ours for and finding one that we are happy with. There would be some updating we would need to do to maximize our sale. It all sounds so tiring, however, I wouldn't mind the end result. I'd rather be totally out of debt and have a lower mortgage so we can save more and travel more. It's not worth it to me to pay for square footage that I don't need or use. Most houses in our area have a nice view, not quite as incredible as ours, but it isn't worth the money for me. It is for R though. So this remains to be seen. If we could sell for what we want, we could potentially reduce our mortgage by $400/month. We haven't been saving at all, including retirement. I'd like some extra money to give us some leverage. I'm nervous about the state of the economy and I'd like to put more distance between myself the financial edge.

So that's where we're at. Not fun, but that's life.

The Effect of One's Surroundings

2007-10-07T15:19:00.001-06:00

This is my new living room. I wish I had before pictures. Let me just describe it to you. I had painted the living room a butterscotch color with the fireplace accented in pumpkin (must have been fall?). I didn't love it but I was so sick of painting we just lived with it for a couple of years. We had hand me down dark green chenille oversize couches. These had holes and were totally threadbare when I finally convinced to get rid of them. We didn't really have much else except a desk R's mom gave us (which I did reuse). I HATED my living room. I'm all about not keeping up with the Jones' but I got to a point I finally quit inviting people over because I was just embarassed. It just felt yucky and I felt like my whole house was crap.

Fast forward to now. The living room is light and airy and really shows off our view. As much as I've designated this room to be for "quiet, calm activities" only, the whole family gravitates toward it. And now I want to have people over. I actually think I have a great house now.

I think there is a line between making your surroundings comfortable and appealing to you, as well as expressing yourself and just being materialistic. I for one feel much happier when I am in a place that I find attractive. Did I redo the living room just so my friends would think I was a neater, more stylish person and therefore worth more as a friend? No, and my friends aren't those kinds of people anyway. I redid it because I hated it. Me. Hated. It.

So there you have it. My new living room.

Intentional Living

2007-09-25T12:46:00.001-06:00

This is the book I am currently reading. It has really made me rethink a lot of ways I go about my daily life. What could be more simple than understanding yourself better and making some positive changes? I highly recommend it.

Here is a picture of my darling family in Costa Rica in August. Our friends S and R got married on this beach. Isn't it breathtaking?

Vacations often get me thinking about how little we truly need to be content. We took 2 games, some crayons, a couple of matchbox cars and a few DVDs and we were fine for 3 weeks. We lived in a 400 sq ft apartment and never felt cramped. Then we come home to a spacious house that is crammed with junk we think we have to have. It is always a stark contrast and gets me thinking.

Since I've started working I am really lucky to have an office right by a local thrift store that accepts donations. I have been trying to bring a bag of unused or un-needed items to donate everyday. Our closets feel more spacious, the kids room's are starting to feel moderately neat, my kitchen doesn't feel so cramped. And we haven't missed a single thing. My plan is to go through everything before X-mas and just get rid of a good portion of it. Then I can organize the rest.

I am still working on getting my health simplified. Exercise is on hold because I finally had foot surgery to correct the plantar fasciitis that just wouldn't heal. I already feel much better but it will take at least a few more weeks before I can start working up to a decent workout again.

Foodwise I am working on making sensible decisions. I am basically following Bob Greene's Best Life plan. I'm in phase one, day 2, actually. I am focusing on eating a healthy breakfast, not skipping meals, avoiding alcohol, and eventually boosting my activity level. Easy-peasy. I'm also personally working on a simple menu plan that is easy to shop for and prepare, but is mostly fresh, local and organic. The CSA has been awesome. My garden was just a few tomato and pepper plants. The tomatoes died but the peppers have been great. I'm really working on not throwing food away and not spending a fortune as well.

I'm going to try to be diligent about keeping my blog updated. Then I might actually share the address with someone!

Car Free with Kids? and a few Updates

2007-03-29T14:40:00.001-06:00

I've been thinking a lot about what it will take to to truly heal our planet and our society. I honestly think going to a car-free or at least car-lite society would be the quickest and maybe largest change we could make towards this goal. I just finished a book called How to Live Well Without Owning a Car by Chris Balish. It was an extremely quick, entertaining and thought provoking read.

He spends a good portion of the book proving that you will definitely save money by not owning a car. I believe that. But in our case, not as much as he makes it out to be. Our 1999 Subaru Forester was paid for in cash 5 years ago. Our insurance is $400 a year. The registration fee is around $100. I pay $80 a month for gas and $80 a year in oil changes. During warm weather I generally wash the car myself, but in the Winter I wash it about4 times including a vacuum which totals around $20. So I'm looking at $660 a year I would be saving. Nothing to scoff at, but he consistently claims it will save me around $8000. One way not having a car would save me money is in shopping expenses. Hard to really total that up though.His next biggest point is that it will give you less to worry about. You don't have to worry about registering it, getting gas, parking, maintenance, traffic, etc. And I buy that. I'm just not sure that figuring alternate transportation would be any less stressful for me.

The thing that irritated me however, is something I find common in environmental and simplify you life type books. He glosses over how a family might be able to do this in the very last chapter and gives it all of 4 pages . He starts off with all the reasons a family might find this difficult: sports practices, lessons, doctor appointments and the like. Then he basically just says that people in Oregon have done it and that it will save you money. No list of tips or practical ways to integrate car-free living into your life.

I find that if you have made the choice to have children, and happen to also be interested in simplicity, sustainability, or environmental issues, you are pretty much on your own to figure it out. There don't seem to be any gurus out there for people like me. There are blogs which leads me to believe that there is a decent size population of people who have children who also want to lessen their impact on the earth. I'm grateful that I at least know there are people like me and that I'm not totally on my own. Most of my friends give lip service to the idea but don't plan on making many changes.

When we moved to our current home 2 years ago it was everything I wanted. It is big, around 3400 square feet. It is in an established, high value area. The public schools are the best in the state. It has an incredible view almost 360 degrees. I look over the Salt Lake valley at the Great Salt Lake and the city, I also have a gorgeous view of Mt. Olympus. Across the street from me is mountain and we get all manner of wild life marching past our front door. The neighborhood is diverse and fairly liberal and our neighbors are wonderful. We live on a cul-de-sac. And there is practically nothing within walking distance.

I honestly do love this house, and my neighborhood and our schools. It is also a great investment. But our house payment is definitely a stretch. If I could do it over, I would pick a more walkable neighborhood. I think this is the only way a family could go car-free. Our good friend is "flipping" a house about 2 miles from us. It is smaller and older, but he has redone it completely. It is within easy walking distance from: a park, a library, a youth rec center, the firestation, several gas stations, 2 dentists, a preschool/daycare that also picks up from our elementary school, a vet, several restaurants and cafes, a convenience store, a drug store, a grocery store, several fast food joints, a dry cleaners, a shoe repair, a bank, and 2 strip malls. I could. We could feasibly sell our house and make a lateral move to the other property. The other great thing about it is that it has a large yard that would be perfect for a large garden and city chickens. But alas, R won't even consider it. He loves this house and I can understand why.

So my next best option is to figure out ways to go car-lite. Even though we live on some seriously steep hills, I finally feel that both my kids are capable of walking them. I look forward to the day they can bike them. Talk about fighting childhood obesity. M's school is just under a mile away. R drops him off which is on the way to work, but we should be walking home. The store is within walking distance as well. The big area I could improve upon is combining errands when I take Z to his preschool. It is about 5 miles away. I should plan on heading that way and staying that way until I pick him up. My gym is right there. So is a major shopping area. I could easily park my car by his school and either walk to the gym or walk to do my errands. That would cut my mileage for sure and give me some exercise. I also should figure out some bus routes for places that are just a little too far to walk, like the library. We could easily hop on the bus by M's school and then walk home from the bus stop. The biggest obstacle, and he makes this point in the book, is that with a car in the garage, it is just too easy to depend on it. If you don't have it, you are forced to make the change.

I'm going to set a goal for reducing our mileage each week. I'll be posting updates.

Potty Training

2007-03-26T19:58:00.002-06:00

I'm feeling like a complete failure. DS#2, otherwise known as Z, is NOT potty trained. Why? No really, I'm asking, WHY!?! I've tried googling late potty training but there really isn't much out there for a freakin' FOUR YEAR OLD!! Everything assumes I'm working with a moderately verbal 2 year old. Well 2 years ago, I was. Everything else is for mentally disabled adults. Maybe that's the theory I need to working with here. Seriously! Changing poopy 4 year old pants is definitely NOT SIMPLE!! Never mind that I'm to the point of getting quite angry every time there is a big old nasty "accident" (is it an accident if he NEVER poops in the potty? I think when he does make it to the throne, THAT is the accident!). Yes, he has pooped on the potty before. 4 times to be exact. I know because I've got the sticker chart to prove it. And if you're wondering, he isn't all that great with #1 either. And to put my frustration in perspective, he can ride a 2 wheeler without training wheels!

So far our strategy has been to hold back on big boy activities until he decides to act like a big boy. Things like playing on the soccer team, taking ski lessons, etc. Doesn't seem to make an impact.

I guess it is time to get back to some serious basics here. I'm going for immediate gratification. Every willing "try" (4 minutes of sitting time required) gets an M&M, every successful pee-pee gets a handful of them. Every poo-poo gets a Hot Wheel, or small tractor, or something of the like. When he gets to 1o successful poo-poos he gets the big John Deere tractor and plow that has been taking up valuable counter space in the bathroom for freaking EVER!

What about "accidents"? Not sure. I have tried taking away TV for accidents. Unfortunately it is really hard to stick to since the rest of the fam wants to watch their Deal or No Deal. I think I am going to remove the upstairs TV and send everyone else downstairs. Then if he has an accident, I can make sure he stays upstairs with me.

The good Dr. suggest I give him a fair amount of mineral oil just before bed for the next 2 weeks to make sure when he wakes up he HAS to go, and it will be easy. To be fair, the little dude is rather on the constipated side. I am going to start that tonight. I just HAVE to remember to make him sit first thing in the morning.

I'm up against the clock here. He starts summer camp in 10 weeks and under no circumstances can he be pooping his pants on any sort of regular basis. So it is time to get down to brass tacks here (whatever the hell that means).

Is it too Much to Ask?

2007-03-02T20:14:00.002-07:00

So yesterday I went to get my birth control pill refill. Simple for me right now is no more kids! Anyway, I tell the person at the "fill prescriptions" window, "I don't really need another dispenser, just the pills" he says "okay" and walks away. Fast forward 30 minutes. I head to the "pick up prescriptions" window and they have the dispenser and pill pack sitting by the register. I say to the pick-up guy, "I don't really need a dispenser, do I have to have one?" He gives me a look and says, "if you don't want it, throw it away" and I say, "but that's the point, I don't want to and I already have several". And then he gives me a oh, you're one of those looks and says, just to irritate me I'm sure, "I can throw it away then" to which I just say"whatever". He throws it in the bag and staples it shut.

Why, oh why is it so difficult to reduce waste?! Shouldn't they just say, "do you need a new dispenser?" really, wouldn't that be more economical? I am just astounded by the amount of trash in my life. It overwhelms me. My recycling bin is crammed full by the end of two weeks. My garbage is never full after a week. I just can't believe how many people don't get it.

Do you want to know what else isn't simple? Getting all gung-ho about getting your masters degree, telling the whole world about it, and then burning out at midterm. I have an Economics midterm tomorrow that I really can't imagine I will pass. I look at the damn graphs and it looks like Greek to me. It just doesn't sink in. Then I remember why I didn't go into Nutrition in the first place. I don't get equations and formulas and graphs.

Sure, if I apply myself to the point of tears and a migraine, sometimes I have the great light bulb above the head moment. But sometimes I don't. Especially if I just don't give a shit. Actually I think this class could be interesting, but I'm taking the online version and I hate it.

So I am going to fail my midterm, make sure I do really well on the easy parts of the class, try harder at the final and hope for a C. I'm going to continue to focus on my Nutrition class and try for an A. Then I'm going to take the summer off and re-evaluate why it is I think I want a masters in Nutrition. Do I really want to be a Registered Dietitian? Do I just want to be able to say I have a Masters Degree. What do I really want to be when I grow up? I can't believe I still don't know.

"Green" and Happy? Is it possible?

2007-03-01T10:36:00.001-07:00

Is it better to live with your head in the sand? I wonder sometimes. After I saw an Inconvenient Truth last summer (I went alone, no one else would go. I cried through the whole thing) I have struggled with a bit of depression. The idea of the natural world being a hostile environment for my children and the idea that they very well might not be having children of their own has left me in a state of chronic stress.
I love reading blogs. Some of my favorites focus on the climate crisis. But I always end up with a knot in my stomach afterward. I've also read a ton of books and have several more right now from the library. I'm thinking about taking a moratorium on worrying about the state of the whole friggin' planet. It's making me sick. So I'm taking them back. They will always be there if I decide to read them.
Does that mean I don't care? Not at all! I care deeply!! I just feel like I know enough right now about what I should be doing. I know we have likely reached peak oil. I know we have likely hit the tipping point. I know the aqua firs are drying up. I totally get that cars have really just got to go. I think I've gathered enough info and it is time to focus that energy on doing instead of worrying. I can't fix it but I can do my part.
In many areas of my life I have decided to start doing instead of thinking. I've also decided that I need to focus on the good things in life. They are so many. By constantly thinking doom and gloom I feel like I've lost more than half a year of my life. I want to be happy and green at the same time. Is it possible?

CSA

2007-02-28T17:05:00.001-07:00

So I signed up for a CSA. The farm is East Farms. http://www.eastfarms.net/about.htm is the link. It was $185 for a half share of approximately 20 weeks of fresh produce. The pick up is about a mile away from my house. I'm thinking I could easily walk there with my jogging stroller and walk home. I'm not sure which day my pick up is. I'm really excited, though it doesn't start until May or June. If you haven't heard about CSAs here is what their website says:

What is Community Supported Agriculture (CSA)?
CSA is a partnership of mutual commitment between a farm and a community of supporters which provides a direct link between the production and consumption of food. Supporters cover a farm's yearly operating budget by purchasing a share of the season's harvest. CSA members make a commitment to support the farm throughout the season, and assume the costs, risks and bounty of growing food along with the farmer or grower.Members help pay for seeds, fertilizer, water, equipment maintenance, labor, etc. In return, the farm provides, to the best of its ability, a healthy supply of seasonal fresh produce throughout the growing season.Becoming a member creates a responsible relationship between people and the food they eat, the land on which it is grown and those who grow it.This mutually supportive relationship between local farmers, growers and community members helps create an economically stable farm operation in which members are assured the highest quality produce, often at below retail prices. In return, farmers and growers are guaranteed a reliable market for a diverse selection of crops.

2007-02-28T15:55:00.001-07:00

Well, okay, I have to admit I am truly a delinquent blogger. But NO MORE! I have a lot to say and since no one around here really wants to here it I will just spew it all out into cyber space for any poor sap that unintentionally happens into it.

I'm doing extremely well with my first resolution, to walk 1/2 hour every day. I'm up to 45 minutes now and have signed up for the Salt Lake Marathon 1/2 marathon walk April 21st. I'm really excited! I truly love to walk! I have purchased 4 Leslie Sansone walk at home DVDs and I love them. Yes, she's a little too perky and normally I distrust people who are just so damn happy. But she has big thighs, and for that I love her. Plus they are pretty fun to do. They remind me of doing aerobics in college. Plus I can do them whenever I want.

The other two resolutions, um, not so much. But I still PLAN to do them.
So am I getting skinnier as a result of all this walking? Maybe a little bit. But here comes the simplify part-- I don't really care. I am done worrying about being super skinny and perfect. Sure, most my friends are magazine worthy. Oh well. I am done worrying about trying to ever be that hot. I'm me. And I'm a good me. Sure we have a big beach vacation coming up in August--I still don't care.

I just finished reading Intuitive Eating and I love it! It makes soooo much sense. I am just going to focus on eating normal, for me. I'm going to focus on quality food and really really enjoying it and stopping when I'm full. Sounds pretty simple, eh. I will probably have more to say about Intuitive Eating as time goes by, I haven't been this excited about NOT dieting since, well, ever.
I've also decided to dress myself in fashionable for me clothes and stop waiting until.... I deserve to look good. I maybe 20 pounds overweight, but I'm still really quite pretty if I do say so myself.

I can't really think of anything simpler than just being myself and enjoying my life regardless of my weight.

2007-01-01T11:17:00.001-07:00

Happy New Year!! I'm kicking around my New Year's resolutions. I haven't finalized what I'd like them to be just yet but they are all focused on Simplifying my Life and making sure I am true to myself and priorities. I know I've got to think small, I just don't have the energy for a major overhaul just now. Some I know will be on the list are: Walk 1/2 an hour every single day, use canvas bags, practice random acts of kindness towards my hubby. Other ideas include: drink one large glass of water before drinking coffee in the morning, have a small garden, quit eating after 7, have more fun! I will be posting my final list soon.

Excess

2006-11-03T11:15:00.001-07:00

Excess. If I had to sum up in one word the source of my issues the word would be excess. Let's build on my 3 biggest issues, being too fat, in debt and disorganized.

Too FAT
Well it's pretty obvious. Excess calories creates excess body fat. So I've been thinking about where my excess lies. I love fruits, whole grains, and veggies. I could be a most the time vegetarian if the family hadn't completely revolted. I don't generally even eat that much chocolate, though I do LOVE chocolate. I think I am drinking my calories. Starbuck's and alcohol to be specific. After having a big night out recently that went on into the wee hours of the morning I realized I drank at least a 6 pack. If each beer had 200 calories, I easily drank a days worth of calories in beer. Never mind the dinner prior and the late night snack attach that resulted. So I have decided to not drink on the weekdays. I've also decided to quit getting drunk. I feel so cruddy afterwords. Another excess is fast food. Z and I grab lunch out most days. Can't be great for either one of us. So I am also going to say fast food only on Wednesday to Mommy Group and Saturday (for M). And last but not least R and I have decided not to eat after 7 pm unless we are out for something special. That should curb boredom eating.
And to really put a twist on things I told R this morning that I've budgeted $100 for each of us to buy gifts for each other at Christmas. If I haven't lost 10 lbs by Christmas morning my gift goes back the very next day and $100 goes to the Republican Party. I would rather die!!!

Debt
Obviously debt is spending in excess of what you earn. I vow to faithfully use my Financial Peace wallet to track all spending. I also vow to use my YNAB spreadsheet to budget and keep myself accountable. No new debt!!!

Clutter
Clutter is excess stuff or necessary stuff that doesn't have a system. So I am all set up on Flylady and vow to organize and declutter 15 minutes a day. I also vow to not bring home new crap. There are things I want and need. There are millions of things I don't.

So there you have it. I am editing myself. No more excess. Enough is really enough.

2006-10-24T20:04:00.002-06:00

Debt.
It's a four letter word to be sure.
R and I have been in debt before. I came into the marriage with $10K in credit card debt. I fell into the typical trap in college when everyone was offering me credit cards. Never mind I worked 4 hours a day making $5 an hour. R had no debt. He even owned a house and was making extra mortgage payments because he had several renters. But he had an investment deal he just couldn't pass by. $8K for untold fortunes in the future. So we took out a home equity loan. Then we needed replacement vehicles. Pretty soon we had $30K. We would pay some down and then buy some more. Finally we sold our house and paid off the debt with equity.
After that we were pretty much as anti-debt as you can be. I remember feeling so proud when we refinanced and the loan officer could not believe that we had zero debts. No car payments, no credit cards. It felt so good.
Even when I quit my decent paying job and we survived on R's small earnings the first year he sold real estate, we had no debt. Then he was doing really well and we had money in savings. Quite a bit.
And then another investment opportunity. This time it was a smart investment. This time I was as excited as he was and felt elated that we had the money set aside. Plus I was sure that we would have our savings back up in no time. I'm still glad we invested the money.
But I didn't count on R not earning as much for the next year. We are the typical house poor Americans. Our house payment is way too much of our monthly expenses. But I still think our house is a great investment as well. It just puts us in an area where we see the Jones' way out ahead of us, and sometimes that is hard. Sometimes I get the wants really bad. And somehow we ended up in debt again.
Debt complicates your life. Debt makes you second guess going to the doctor when you think your child might have strep. Debt makes going out to dinner on your 10th anniversary bitter sweet because you know you should be putting that money toward paying down the damn credit cards. Debt makes your husband mentally calculate every dime you spend while your family is in Disneyland. Debt sells your future and taints your present. Debt is hell.
I am proud to say that Ris working hard and doing great for our family. Yesterday we paid off a BIG chunk. Feels sooo good. Good-bye Citibank. Good-bye American Express. Hello light at the end of the tunnel.
We have big dreams for our future. They include a lot of time in Costa Rica. They cars that aren't breaking down every other month. They include investments and passive income. They include a large cushion for security. They include college funds for the monkeys. They don't include being owned by credit card companies. They don't include debt.

2006-10-18T15:21:00.001-06:00

So I've been thinking about simplifying for A LONG TIME! But I am finally there and ready to start breaking it down. I like to soak and think in the tub and this morning I had a moment of clarity. I am re-reading Elaine St. James Simplicity Reader for the billionth time and one chapter talks about figuring out what really makes your life complicated. And I finally boiled it down to 3 major things: 1) Disorganized home 2) Unhappy with my body 3) Debt. That pretty much sums it up. Now it's time to figure out how to simplify these things!

Simplifying in the Suburbs?

2006-02-21T17:22:00.002-07:00

I live in the Suburbs of Salt Lake City, though not as far as I used to. I was in Sandy, now I'm living closer to the city. I've decided (and I could be wrong) that the suburbs are the least simple place to live.
If you live in the country, you can raise your own food, send your kids out to roam, forget about doing a lot of shopping and connect with the environment. In the city, you can walk to most places and your life is likely to take place in a relatively small radius from where you live. And there is public transportation. There are so many things to do and they are so close! But in the 'burbs you pretty much need a car. There aren't a lot of cultural experiences within walking distance. For most, the nature they see has been planted by someone.
But I'd like to do a little experiment. I'd like to see how I can simplify my life in the suburbs. So I will start looking for ways to simplify my life and my families life. I will start looking for resources that are close to us. I would like to see if I can prove my theory of the suburbs as un-simple wrong. And if I can remember to, I will tell you about it.